this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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update on my last post ive lost this battle truly (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by opiumfree@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net
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theres no way im going to start earning my own money bc abusive mom not letting me get a job and insists on me going to college. before you say im lucky to be supported through college just know that she basically admitted that this is her way of delaying my independence because she said i can get a job at mcdonalds afterwards and she doesnt really care about my actual career prospects. her way of abuse is sleep deprivation and verbal abuse and parentification so im convinced this will just be another 4 years of barely getting by because i have to study on 5 hours of sleep and also take care of my siblings for some reason. ive barely graduated high school because i had to deal with this.

my former therapist also agreed that my home environment impedes my studying. my former (child) therapist which dropped me btw bc my mom would bring me to sessions 30 minutes late and not let me take public transport there.

right now im just gonna focus on making the most of it and being independent atleast in this process. she insists on coming with me to enroll (she has a habit of loudly berating me in public btw) but im not gonna do that and i will go enroll on my own. it seems freedom is never gonna come.

and the worst thing of all is she expects me to be visibly happy through all this and just 20 minutes ago in the conversation about how shes not gonna let me work she kept asking why im not happy and to be more enthusiastic.

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[–] Salah@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Good luck, when deciding on your college major, look for the current career prospects in your area so you can get a job as soon as possible after graduation. A perfect major would be one that seems relatively easy with your skillset with plenty job opportunities. In this economy that’s probably not possible but the closest thing will suffice.

If you can get out before graduation that’s good, if not, you want to have a clear path to freedom you can look forward to.

You can also pretend that your courses are way harder than they actually are, so you can secretly do a small job on the side and start saving money for when you’re able to move out. Don’t be too strict on yourself though, you’re dealing with enough stress already so a job is only for if you feel you can handle it.

[–] immuredanchorite@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

I agree with using the school and being a student as an excuse. Take advantage of it. Most colleges have a gym and a library which can give you time away from home and help you recharge. You can nap in library (a straight 45 minutes will do wonders if it is nearly every day, or even take a caffine nap (which is slamming a cup of coffee and sleeping for 20 to replenish adenosine)) or you can make some more friends who can help you out, even potentially give you a place to crash if things get worse and you become close enough. Just tell your mom you need to study and point to the fact that she is making you go to school so you are making it a priority. Typically a school gym wont let non-students or non-alumni in, so you get a space your mom can’t even get to you.