this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2026
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Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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There's only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.
Nothing pisses religious nutjobs more than telling them that God spoke to you and said you were holier than they are.
"You guys need a priest to tell you what God wants? Why, he doesn't check in with you personally? What did you do to piss him off?"
Speak it in Latin and claim you don't know what Latin even is. Then use Google Translate like some time later and tell her.
If she ask any questions just say the usual, "God works in mysterious ways", "maybe this is a test from God like in the book of Job", or "are you questioning my faith or yours?"
Babble nonsense. They call it "speaking in tongues" and think it's super legit
I'd wake up and say "God says that he's pissed that you keep doing dangerous stuff, and expecting Him to pull your sorry asses out of the fire. He says it ends now, and you're on your own. If you pass out in the hot summer sun, you're going to die, and your constant annoyances mean that your place in heaven is not secure. He's not real thrilled about have to live in close proximity, whee you'll be dropping by every day for coffee. He thinks Satan ought be able to settle y'all down a bit. Just something to think about...oh yeah, Sweetie? We're over. Bye!"
"I think the demon attached itself from you. If God favored you then He'd protect you from them, I think someone in your family is harboring a Dark Presence. We're unequally yoked."