Trans
General trans community.
Rules:
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Follow all blahaj.zone rules
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All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
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Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
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If you don't know the individual's preferred pronouns, using they/them is perfectly fine. This comes from a proper grammatical standpoint and a spot of caution.
Think of it this way. They/them may not be their pronouns, but its FAR better than misgendering them with he/him or she/her.
My two cents.
Oh, totally! I meant it more like if someone knows that a trans woman goes exclusively by she/her, but chooses to refer to her by they/them. Still better than using he/him! But not quite right, if you know she doesn’t use they/them, you know?
The thing is, linguistically, everyone is a ‘they them’. Just like how you are always a ‘you’ and I am always a ‘me’.
makes sense on paper, but we're talking about cis people casually degendering trans people this way while carefully preserving the gender of other cis people
I think correcting them is reasonable. If they are an ally, they will take it in their stride, correcting themselves and moving on.
Additional context for this perspective: I am a cis woman who uses she/it pronouns. It makes me feel uncomfortable when people use they/them for me, because it evokes a gender anxiety in me, similar (but distinct from, obviously) to what a trans woman might feel if someone used they/them pronouns for her. I did "try on" they/them pronouns for a while, way back, and it made me feel deeply uncomfortable in a way that made it clear that they weren't a good fit for me.
Whilst I agree that they/them is better than he/him in this context (and there may be instances where the situation doesn't feel conducive to correcting someone), I also think that correct pronouns are correct pronouns, and incorrect ones are incorrect. Like, there is, in some sense, a clear binary here.
A lot of progressive folk tend to default to they/them pronouns for people they don't know, and I have been very proud of myself lately for telling people that I use she/it pronouns, and politely correcting people if they get it wrong thereafter (I may stick to telling people she/her if I am in a less queer space). Given that I don't regularly experience gender dysphoria, the little splashes of dysphoria I feel when people they/them me are fairly tolerable. However, I have found that when I do check people on using the correct pronouns for me, it feels very good. I think it comes down to agency (especially as I am a cis person who has thoroughly interrogated the question of "Am I a woman tho? Because if you're not, that's totally chill — you have options", and concluded that I am, in fact, a woman. It makes it feel like more of a choice than if it was just foisted upon me against my will (I mean, it sort of was foisted upon me, but I put a load of stickers and spikes on my AGAB, and now it feels like mine)
That sounds a little like they're hesitant to properly gender someone which begs the question "why?".
That being said, I will settle for a they if it's all I can get from someone.