Blobby and Friends
this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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I agree with you. I often challenge people to give one selfless reason to have a child, just one.... to this day, no one has been able to give one reason. When you look at it, having a child is a selfish action
There are plenty of reasons that aren't selfish. You can do it for humanity, for justice, for style points, for Narnia... If you want to logick those into being selfish, that's your own moral framework talking. Every action is a subjective choice from a subjective perspective in the end, but people can still have non-selfish intentions, however misguided you may judge them.
Well said.
For humanity? We are over 8 billion people in this world, you think humanity needs another one to share resources ? Let me guess your's will be special of course, better than all the rest. For justice ? I don't even understand your logic here. It's not subjective it's just selfish, you are not having a kid for the good of others, you having one because you want one, consequences be damn
I think you're missing the point. Having a child for Narnia is not selfish, it is literally for the good of Narnia to have another strong Narnian. But you're operating under a moral framework where even the good of Narnia is ultimately good for the Narnian, therefore it is selfish to want Narnia to be strong.
Do you have to agree with the idea of a strong Narnia? Of course not. But it's a very narrow way of thinking to explain every human motivation through selfishness.
To give someone a chance to experience the pleasure of living.
To contribute to the world an additional person of quality and integrity.
You probably just haven't been asking very thoughtful or articulate people.
God bless your heart if you are this naive π¦π. In the real world pleasure is the exception, pain and death are a warranty in this world. I'm sure you can warranty you'r Kid will be 100% healthy, live a life free of trouble and pain π« π»
@thepig in my experience these folks think everyone is either rich or has zero disabilities of any kind when thats actually about .00000001% of humans. Or theyre really young and have no idea how much life sucks (but make the best of it anyway if youre here)
Yall got some dismal life experiences; what a dour outlook on life.
@BlueOysterCultist I mean, mine wasnt great (childhood abuse) but I make the most of it myself. Theres definitely fun to be had. I just see zero reason to drag an unconsenting person into the world. Like, why? If people were actually not selfish, they'd adopt. I am selfish and I enjoy my alone time, so I will probably end up doing neither.
True. I am not religious or even spiritual, but I gotta admit that the budists got it right when they say "suffering is a fundamental constant in life". Thinking everything will be sunshine and rainbows is not optimism, it's just being naive.
@thepig agree. I'd say in general, my life has maybe been 15-20% enjoyment, the rest was either meh or outright sucked. The enjoyment portion gets smaller as one gets older, especially if you aren't raking in cash by the time youre 40, you won't have a fun time.
Might not be selfless as such, and I'm not in any position to speak for women in general, but when that biological drive kicks in, it can do so pretty damn hard.
That's still satisfying your own need, but perhaps more subconsciously so than people having children without thought or care.
Me and my wife agreed on not having children when we were young, but we've never regretted the son we got after a pretty radical twist in our mid 20's. I could go on, but it's complicated.
In today's world, if I were young again, I'd never even give it serious thought, though. Different times, although it doesn't feel that long ago.
My intention is not to shame or make people who have children feel bad. I am 35 and I would never have a kid, we are over 8 billion people in this world that's over the maximum sustainable capacity, why on earth would I bring another human into this world, there is nothing inherent special about my DNA that I MUST pass down.
In all honesty, lots of people have children not even because they especially want to, but because they feel obligated to by their role in society. That's not a reason many people are likely to give, but it's not a selfish reason.
It is selfish, you have a kid because you don't want to handle other people's opinions about you, giving in to the pressure is easier that standing your ground, more comfortable to. So because you don't want to argue with your parents and deal with the backlash, you decide to bring another human being into existence. That's pretty selfish
Meeting your obligations is the most unselfish thing you can possibly do. Doing things out of obligation to others is the fundamental unit of unselfishness.
Not really, standing up to what you know is right, even when it gets you criticism, that is not selfish. Doing things cause people tell you to do and you don't want to bother going against the flow cause it's uncomfortable is pretty selfish. What obligation ? Our planet is over 8 billion people, do you think the human race is going extinct? It might very well go extinct if people keep pumping up children like there is no tomorrow, consequences and lack of resources be damn, I want a kid.
@thepig oh man, sooooo many people fit this mold. "Because I have to. Because its what you do". No. Its not. You dont have to do ANYTHING.
Indeed, I do not want to shame people who decide to have a bunch of kids if they truly want to, but they should really think about their choices and the consequences, because at the end of the day, those people that pressured you into having a kid will not help you if things go wrong, I'm talking about mental and physical illness, I am talking about financial destitution, I'm talking about accidents, and 1001 other things that can happen
@thepig everyone wants people to have kids, no one wants to pay or take the time for them. If you dont have immediate family nearby, have fun with $2k/month daycare bills on $9/hr minimum wage! Its a joke.
Truly, and then the kid is going to suffer from lack of opportunities and even resources, but it's somehow ok cause they wanted a kid π€·π» and we should all sUpPoRt ThAt.
Are all selfish actions bad?
I don't care, I just want people to be honest about it and stop pretending they do it because they care
Perhaps they do it because they care. How would you know what rationale everyone has?
They care about an ethereal being that has not yet even started to exist ? Cause before they conceive the child, the child doesn't exist, so surely they must not care about something that doesn't exist. They care about THEMSELVES and their desire to have a kid, or did they ask the future kid's soul if it want to come into existence?
Couldn't they care about something before it comes into existence?
I don't understand how you arrive at this outcome that you cannot care about something that doesn't exist. Lower stakes example: gamers cared about GTA 6 before it came out. People care about future entries into game series that haven't even been thought up yet.
People care about the concept of things that don't exist enough to make them want to exist.
If you believe in souls, and believe they exist before birth, then I'm curious about why you think it would be selfish to bring souls to experience the mortal plane of existence. Would it not be a function of a soul to be brought here?
According to this thought experiment, their soul exists but they don't? They meaning their physical body? I guess that makes sense.
But still: people can care about things that don't exist yet.
Just in case it isn't clear: none of the above is said with any animosity, and I'm not talking down to you.
Ok I'll explain better. First I don't believe in souls, it was a way to express existence, my rationale is that you cannot say you did something for someone who doesn't exist. So when people say, "I decided to have a son out of love for him" this cannot be, you might want to have a son, like gamer want to have GTA6, but the developers will not say "we decide to create GTA6 because we love GTA6" that wouldn't make sense. I support freedom for all, if they wish to have 1001 kids they can do so, but let's not be naive, people do it for many reasons but in my opinion none of those reasons are selfless. Also I happen to adhere to Benatar's Asymmetry Argument. It states: -Pain is bad. Pleasure is good. -But absent pain is good β even if no one's there to enjoy that absence. -Absent pleasure isn't bad β unless someone exists to miss it. So: Existing = you get pain (bad) + pleasure (good). Never existing = no pain (good) + no missed pleasure (neutral, since no one's deprived). Conclusion: non-existence never loses. Existence risks suffering for no matching benefit. So it's better never to be born.
My wife and I have a family to give you a justification to not have children. So, I'm glad I could make you feel better about your choice. That was pretty selfless of us I think.
Don't flatter yourself, the 1.44 billion people in India and 1.41 billion in China, plus our dwindling world resources did that