this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2026
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Never really understood the issue, like it doesn't detract anything for the rest of us? I am straight, middleaged, married to a woman I have been with for 22 years. Why the fuck should I feel threatened by who someone loves.
For years my attitude to anything involving consensual adults that caused no harm to others:
(I have recently adjusted my attitude to defend peoples right to do consensual things, as there is so much hate)
My gripe has been more in the lines that why the fuck do you need to show the world HOW you love someone? I support your right to make love suspended from load bearing beams by a metal hook up your anus in a latex gimp suit, but like fuck if I care for you to show me.
The problem is that even encountering someone of a different lifestyle sets people off.
Like, I should be allowed to hold hands with my partners in public. If we want to wear cat ears or dog collars or pronoun pins or pride flags, there's nothing wrong with not hiding who we are.
That's pretty different from asking you to participate in our kinks - but most straight people don't seem to understand that.
Because marriage and sex have historically been used by the church as a mechanism of control to perpetuate Christian hegemony.
Forbidding premarital sex, inter-race relations, and homosexuality makes oppressing people much easier.
Sex criminals. Completely incurable... I suppose you could outlaw religion and these sex crimes would disappear in a generation or two, but we don't have time for rational solutions. - George Carlin
Here's a fun little tid bit I once brought up with a relative.
Same sex couples are a benefit tax wise.
They'll get married, pay their taxes, contribute to society like any other couple, but with one key caveat: they don't accidentally make new mouths to feed and extra burdens on our systems and infrastructure.
Last I checked, 2 gay men (or 2 lesbians for that matter) aren't gonna accidentally make a new mouth to feed, a new student in our public education, a new person that has to use our roads, etc. If they want a kid it's intentional. And statistically they're significantly more likely to adopt (bringing the number of children in those systems down as well)
They still were against it though because "they just don't like the idea of it" but hey, that's one of the reasons them and I don't talk anymore. One of the others being that they found out I was Bi lol
But that economic angle is kind of dangerous.
As that always was one of the technical reasons behind which people, who probably just hated gays, hid.
E.g. in Germany the raison-d'etre for the conept of marriage comes from the constitution. Something along the lines of "the state needs to actively support and protect families. That is why there's an tax advantage for married couples: to prepare, economically, for children and later enable them to have one person (mostly women, obviously, because people who hate gays often overlap with the "women need to take care of their kids, men don't" crowd) taking care of said children.
So the shitty argument ran along those lines "gays don't need to marry, because they can't have children". Which always was stupid to begin with, because they couldn't adopt for that reason, as only married people could adopt 🙄.
"My gripe has been more in the lines that why the fuck do you need to show the world HOW you love someone?" Because I believe in equal rights.
If a straight couple can hold hands and kiss on the park, Why would I have to hide the same behavior just because both me and my partner are of the same gender?
Additionally, for normalization and for communal support. A lot of people feel like passive support is enough, but then going into social media gives you a glimpse of how trans killers are celebrated, how Pride events are mocked, and how attending to one of them, or even being found to be gay or Trans can get you assaulted.
We need visibility if we are ever going to reach integration and freedom.
Like I stated, I have amended my previously stance of "Knock yourself out" to a more pro active stance just because of the increased hate. I can't be just silently accepting.
And I am not talking about showing affection. A kiss, holding hands, hugging.
I am looking at the Pride parade and seeing floats of leathermen and gimps and other kinks. And I am not kink shaming, I just don't see how that is relevant in the discussion. If you need the whole hardware store to get it up is cool by me, I don't get why it needs to be expressed in the context of I like men/female/all the colors of the rainbow in between
Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding mate, and same here. I see no sense or value in those things being on display but at the same time, I do respect them because it is legal.
You do see things just as revealing in many straight spaces though, such as cheerleaders, and while not as openly sexual as some of the things one sees at Pride, to me it still looks like a bit of a double standard in that regard.
I'm in a very much same boat with you on this one. My phrasing is slightly different, but the idea is the very same, if I'm not participating in any way on what you're doing then go and have fun.
And I'm going to stand between you, gay or straight or whatever, and the individual trying to stop you.