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I'm only an adult because I'm 40 but I feel like a child. Is anyone as lost as I feel now? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 days ago by marc4267@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I've realized I'm a very atypical person: talking to coworkers in my age range today I realized they have a better financial situation than mine: they are married, some with children, own their own condos, houses, or are paying a mortgage, but can still live a normal life, own a car, some even have the luxury of not having to work 40 hours a week, but 32 because they don't need to work more, house already paid, family and life objectives achieved.

Me: I'm 43, I don't own but rent, meaning I pay for something I'm never going to own. The last 2 years I've been saving like crazy because I'm afraid of not having enough money for retirement, and because in my past I did so much stupid shit, meaning I wasted so many years not doing anything of use.

I have around 100K in the bank, I know I should invest but I'm also scared of losing that money and I don't know if I should use that money as a down payment for a house.

My father owns 3 houses and I envy him. I've been thinking about asking him to sell one of the houses and give me the proceeds so I can buy my own place because some of my coworkers did that and could finance their own home. When my father went to study to another state my grandfather bought him a house there so he wouldn't have to rent. When he moved back to home state he sold and invested the money to buy a new house there. He had way easier than me. It's not fair. I feel... unloved?

I guess this makes me an entitled ass but I feel so... lost?

To summarize, I feel like a loser because I'm old, I'm behind most of my coworkers my age, I'm a very individualistic person but this means I'm going to die alone, but sometimes I feel alone and scared of being old and alone. I don't own anything of value to my name, it's like I'm an old teenager.

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[–] pound_heap@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago

You probably need to figure out what do you want. There is nothing wrong to be alone, not have family or kids. Unless it bothers you. There is nothing wrong to rent a home. Unless it bothers you. Figure out what you want, how the future in which you want to leave looks like. If you can't, maybe talking to a psychologist worth a try - decide what problem you are trying to solve, book a few sessions, see if that moves you towards your better self.

Financially, I agree with many on this thread - keeping all $100k on a savings account is one of the worst things to do with your money. Keep a couple of months of expenses on savings, put the rest to work. CDs are mostly safe, and help offset the inflation. Buying home isn't a bad option, and if it's just a place for you to live, don't consider it an investment depends on location, but you'll likely save on monthly payments vs rent.

Once you figure out what you want from your life, talk to a financial advisor to set realistic financial goals and decide on home purchase or investments.