I've got a bit of a weird situation going on here, and I want to hear what the fellow transes and the fellow RPG players have to say about it. So I'm crossposting it to both communities.
So I started a new Beam Saber campaign, and one of My players came up with the idea of playing as "Egg James Bond". A womanising super spy who still thinks she's a cis guy, and is externalising all her gender dysphoria into being a terrible person to those around her. It sounded like a fun story to tell, especially the moment where she comes to accept herself and transes her gender. So we've played three sessions so far, and Egg James Bond has been exactly the kind of misogynistic A-hole we were promised.
Except, a complication: The person playing as Egg James Bond is the host of a plural system, and Egg James Bond accidentally becomes her headmate. Her brain adapts to playing as this fictional character, and suddenly he's another person inside her head. Believe it or not, this is a pretty common experience for plural roleplayers.
One of the other players is really bothered by Egg James Bond out of game, because Egg James Bond is a complete A-hole. She's mean, petty, doesn't respect women, etc. Personally, I'm not bothered by this behaviour, because we all discussed the character at session 0 and agreed to make it part of our game. And for Me, the behaviour is staying inside the game. But this other player is deliberately antagonising Egg James Bond out-of-character, receiving exactly the kind of replies I'd expect, and seems bothered by them.
So this other player goes to Egg James Bond and their player/host between sessions, and forcibly cracks her egg. Confronts her and makes her realise that she's a woman inside. Guides her through choosing a name for herself. And this other player seems really proud of Themself, and says they've "fixed" ~~Egg~~ Trans James Bond. And that we can still play through the egg cracking moment in the game, Egg James Bond is still an egg in the game.
But I'm unhappy. I feel like our story has been spoiled. What's the point of playing the story if we already know the ending? So I want Trans James Bond's host to make a new character to play in the game. I don't want to put up with the eggy bigoted version of the character to get to a story moment that's already happened out of game. I feel like the character's story in the game I'm running has been ruined. I wanted to play to find out. But now we've found out, and most of us didn't get to play. And I'm bitter that we put up with the misogyny and pouting without getting the payoff. I was fine with it when it was in service to a story we all wanted to tell, but I don't want to tell that story now that it's already been told.
It sounds like there are some lines that shouldn't be crossing here. I don't know much about the system/alter/DID dynamics (or if those are actually related even) but it sounds like you made a metaphorical tulpa in your friend's head by accident. I don't think this is a healthy group dynamic. You should not be feeding stimulus for a new personality to your friend who is susceptible, that seems dangerous. Or, if its actually fine, maybe talk about boundaries. Did they want to be Egg James Bond? Do they even want to be Trans James Bond? There's a difference between acting and making a character a part of you. It doesn't seem like anyone should have cracked Egg James Bond because as trans people we shouldn't be forcibly doing that to each other. And at no point, if any of this is being taken seriously within your group, should Egg or Trans James' Bond's personal story be for your entertainment. You somewhat created a person or personality and you imbued it with a very turbulent emotional condition that takes years for some to come to grips with. Who knows how that is interacting with the system and its other selves. If this can legitimately happen to people with alters/systems/DID, that strikes me as cruel. You are in a way all responsible for their wellbeing. Your friend should apologize to Trans James Bond and all of you should talk to your friend's other selves and apologize.
Edit: Also there is no excuse for misogyny at the table. The line for roleplaying a misogynist is thin and has already been crossed.
My player's system is what's called an endogenic system, which means they don't have DID. They became plural through mental techniques that are a very long and somewhat sad story. Trans James Bond is a kind of headmate, or system member, called an autoject. That's a member based on an external source, which was created by the system. Autojects have a lot in common with parogens (formerly known as tulpas), but the key difference is that they aren't created intentionally. Autojects also tend to have ties with a fictional world which can complicate things.
Also, this is good advice, and I will be sharing it with the player. I already checked on Trans James Bond and made sure she's doing okay. But I also wanted to share the terminology for these kinds of situations. I recommend pluralpedia as a good resource for plural terminology.
I am sorry if the term tulpa was a loaded term, I suspected it might be loaded and only used it for lack of a better term. Thank you for sharing these resources, I'll give them a read.