Transfem

I’m semi-closeted transfeminine. I don’t go to salons, etc., usually. But I recently started going to get my eyebrows threaded/tweezed because it’s actually been pretty good bang for my buck: I like the way my face looks quite a bit more for about a month, for less money than a manicure. The place I’ve been going offers “men’s eyebrow services,” which partly made me feel welcome initially. I’ve always booked a “men’s eyebrow service,” because as a largely guy-presenting person I feel like a bit of an intruder in a space that I see as mainly for women. That said, once my butt’s in the seat I’m asking for a “more feminine look” while generally having difficulty articulating what I want.

I had someone new to me at the same salon do them yesterday, and I got home and instantly hated the way my eyebrows looked – too masculine, too much like they looked before the appointment. I thought back to how the aesthetician had been telling me about other clients of hers who are men at the start of the appointment. She seemed to only notice my purple-polished fingernails half-way through the appointment.

I’m posting because I’m in a listless, bad mood that’s spilled into another day. I’m really frustrated that I didn’t get the “like the way my face looks more” payout I was expecting. Maybe part of me is disallowing that frustration or anger under the belief that it is overblown, ultimately thwarting my processing of the experience. And I feel pretty powerless about righting the situation. I could have a go at trying to fix my eyebrows myself, but that seems risky, especially given how fresh the situation is – I’m worked up and don’t want to make things worse. I’m busy for the next 3 weeks. In 3 weeks, I think I’ll go back to an aesthetician at the same place whose work I’ve liked in the past at the same salon and explain that I'm hoping to fix things while avoiding criticism about my last appointment with someone else. (It was only due to scheduling conflicts that I didn’t see the usual person yesterday.)

I feel a little absurd for posting this. But this has bugged me far more than I expected – which is probably telling – and I've been listless. Still trying to get back to my baseline. I guess another lesson I've learned is to stick to someone whose work I like. Hugs and tips about navigating beauty appointments are welcome <3