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Is social interaction actually enjoyable or just socially required? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 6 days ago by userreality@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I genuinely don’t understand how people see social interaction as something beautiful or natural. To me it feels like pure obligation.

Even at work you are not really yourself. You are adjusting how you speak, how you act, and how you respond just to fit the role, satisfy your employer, and keep things smooth with colleagues. That constant switching can be exhausting.

Outside of work it does not feel that different. Conversations, replying, small talk, making plans, it can all feel more like maintenance than real connection.

And yeah, I can agree that most people are not fully themselves in these situations. Everyone is performing to some extent depending on the setting. The difference is some people find it normal while others find it draining.

Sometimes it feels like people are not actually enjoying it as much as they say, they are just used to it being the default way to live.

Maybe I am missing something but I do not see the beautiful part everyone talks about.

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[–] kartoffelsaft@programming.dev 3 points 5 days ago

I've been reading some of these other replies and my input is that to me you sound depressed / burnt out. I do not say that as a psychologist or therapist, if you want that diagnosis you'd have to talk to a certified one; however, the times in my life I have been more depressed the more I agree with this sentiment and the less I've been depressed the less I agree.

I'd also like to remind you that you are asking this on Lemmy, which means a lot of responses you'll get here are from a certain nerdy, shut-in type. I say this because people here are likely to agree already, which is good for sympathies but not for answering your actual question.

When people say they enjoy being social, they are not lying (with caveats). Most healthy people have at least a couple of relationships they deeply value, and if you're missing that I think it's worth continuing to meet people even if it's a lot of effort.

Work-wise though, yeah people are mostly lying there. There's a much stronger insentive structure to lie.

I want to reiterate you should look into whether you've got burnout or depression, especially given the current climate. Those both have a way of draining enjoyment from seemingly unrelated things, relationships usually being one of the first.