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Is social interaction actually enjoyable or just socially required? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 6 days ago by userreality@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I genuinely don’t understand how people see social interaction as something beautiful or natural. To me it feels like pure obligation.

Even at work you are not really yourself. You are adjusting how you speak, how you act, and how you respond just to fit the role, satisfy your employer, and keep things smooth with colleagues. That constant switching can be exhausting.

Outside of work it does not feel that different. Conversations, replying, small talk, making plans, it can all feel more like maintenance than real connection.

And yeah, I can agree that most people are not fully themselves in these situations. Everyone is performing to some extent depending on the setting. The difference is some people find it normal while others find it draining.

Sometimes it feels like people are not actually enjoying it as much as they say, they are just used to it being the default way to live.

Maybe I am missing something but I do not see the beautiful part everyone talks about.

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[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 5 points 6 days ago

I find it draining but rewarding.

I love interacting with people, it fills me with joy making someone else smile or laugh, or helping them feel supported and accepted when times are tough, or lifting them up so they feel clever or helpful or kind. But I also require a lot of solo time to recharge.

I have made several friends in life who I can be in silence with - that really helps me not feel as drained. Being in nature or exerting myself while interacting also makes it less draining (hiking or working out), probably because I can focus more on my own body and experience and less on the social contract and thus be my natural self more.

My colleagues are very understanding of my need to recharge, so we can have a lot of fun together but I can also let them know that I'm socially burnt out and need to work from home or alone with my tunes.

Sometimes burnout takes a long time to recharge, and then i need to force myself with baby steps to get back into socialising, but it is always worth it in the long run.