This week has been really interesting, lots of big changes happening in my life. Here is last week's post. Since then, I've got new information, and lived some life out and have new opinions. The more I find out, the more I'm grateful to no longer be in that house. A few months ago, the house director's girlfriend got out of jail and has been helping him run the house. Things have gotten progressively worse since she has taken power in the house, and since I got demoted as house manager.
First off, how did they know I wasn't at work? This is probably the most offensive part to me. I went into work at 10 that morning, got off at 2 and started hanging out with my girlfriend. 2 hours later, the house director's girlfriend and the new house manager pulls up to my work to see if I was there. They were so aggressive with my coworkers that they assumed this was a domestic violence situation and stone walled. I don't know how the conversation ended, but house director's girlfriend found out I wasn't there eventually, and with no invitation or announcement, pulls up to my girlfriend's house and starts cop knocking on the door, blowing up my phone, all that. Well we don't answer the door. 5 minutes later, I get a text telling me my stuff will be on the curb and I'm getting kicked out.
So, my stuff, another point of ridiculousness. They tell me my stuff will be outside an hour before it's supposed to storm its ass off. Well, I had been house manager for a while, I know the rules for kicking someone out. I don't have a car, so getting back to the sober living within an hour is not really feasible. I point this out and say "Rule says 2 weeks". House manager's girlfriend says that's not an on paper rule makes a sly comment about my girlfriend "enabling me to break sober living rules".
I was going through my shit, and found out that whoever was packing up my shit took a bunch of stuff for themselves. All my ibuprofen and benedryl, pretty much any pill that wasn't a script. Bunch of old hygeine stuff, my razors, my crutches. Just claiming my shit for the house and calling it "charity".
And there was quite a major ripple in the house from me getting kicked out. I was the emotional support of the house, and generally the most responsible so when shit happened people came to me, even after I was demoted as house manager. One person went to a mental institution for suicidal ideation. One person relapsed. And two people moved out. So the entire house got emptied expect for two people in the course of a week. And one of those people came in the day I was getting kicked out, so they probably didn't stick around of they had a choice.
I fucking hated that place, it was the biggest stressor in my life. Facing potential homelessness is less stressful than dealing with that shit every day, constantly being watched and punished for trying to live a fulfilling life. Fuck that noise
Glad you're at least in a better place living with your gf, that sounds like a really shitty spot to live in.
I appreciate it a lot. I've been able to take my recovery in my own hands now and it feels really good. There are two AA meetings I really like, one is local and one is a Zoom meeting. The sober living prevented me from going to both of them, I didn't have privacy for the Zoom meeting and responsibilities towards the house always kept me away from the local meeting. I've been going to my Zoom meeting every night I've been free since leaving the house, still wanna go to the local meeting, it's been a while.
I also wasn't allowed to take CBD/CBN while in sober living because it can cause false positives for THC. CBN really improves my sleep, psychosis issues, and low appetite. CBD is good for my anxiety day to day. I have also been smoking normal weed since I've been living with my girlfriend, no waking and baking, just a small joint before bed. I find weed to help with the addictive voices quite a bit, I've smoked half as many cigarettes as normal since moving in with her. I've even been thinking about trying to switch to pouches again because the sober living house was a terrible place to try and quit smoking.
That's all great news! Funny you were the one who turned me onto on pouches and I haven't looked back. So good luck getting back on those.
Yeah, I'm glad I could do that! Pouches are the only alternative nicotine I've had any luck with, if I start vaping I just start smoking and vaping at the same time. I'm such a bad nicotine addict that when I was with my ex, I'd put on a patch before bed so I wouldn't wake up every few hours with nicotine cravings.
I've had a few periods with the pouches over the years. When I was a non-profit canvasser, I quit smoking because I realistically couldn't smell like smoke if I wanted donations. That lasted a couple of months, but I lived at the sober living so once that job was over, I was just around a house full of smokers. Last time I had a period of all pouch use was when I lived with my old roommates and got sober from the liquor the first time. I would pop some kratom, grab some coffee, pop a cinnamon Onn pouch and just grind out Mario Kart. I started smoking again because I started drinking again, bought a pack while I was drunk and kept buying them.