You've pretty much answered your own question - the alternative model is simply no-fee, frictionless, convenient, secure, micro-payments.

No, I've explained why such a system is unable to solve the problem better than advertising can. Or to be more precise, I've explained the criteria that a successful system would need to meet. Criteria no system I'm familiar with has met.

I'm truly loathe to say this as I despise everything about crypto, but this is a problem that crypto could address.

Crypto certainly could be used to deliver the system you propose. Such a system actually exists. The Basic Attention Token; perhaps other implementations of the same idea. I think it's a great idea in theory, but it's been around for over half a decade now and hasn't taken off. Because consumer interest isn't there; because the website interest isn't there; because it's impractical to make work in a way that actually improves user experience. It doesn't really matter what the reason is, the fact is it hasn't worked, and if you're proposing an alternative to advertising, it needs to be one that people can get on board with, and a proven failed system clearly isn't the answer, as much as I might like it to be.

More to the point though, I worry that such a system, even with those low payments, would put an undue burden on the finances of those who can least afford it. The Internet has been an incredible democractising force, allowing people from all over the world and all walks of life to create content and share their experiences, and view that of others. To cut too many off entirely would be a great shame. And frankly I get a little uneasy even with the idea of some people being able to pay to remove ads. It would create two classes of people, those who must pay with their data, and those who can afford not to. I'm not necessarily saying it would be wrong to allow some people to pay to remove advertising fwiw, just noting that it's an uncomfortable issue that should be carefully considered, not necessarily just taken as a given.

Also fwiw, I see no reason that it should need to be tied to crypto. Whatever software is needed to interpret that the token has been paid could just as easily ensure a centralised server has registered a microtransaction. From how you've described it I actually think I'm in principle less against crypto than you are (in the sense that I think the cast majority of its most publicised use has been as a tool for scams and grifts, but I don't believe it necessarily has to be that way, and I'm very open to the idea of legitimate uses, even if I don't yet think I've seen any), but I just don't see what advantages it would have for this purpose over centralised architecture.