this post was submitted on 17 May 2026
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The Tower of Babel was probably just a ziggurat that suffered a structural failure and the proto-Hebrew goat herders were like "haha that's what you get for building cities, assholes."
From what I gathered in non-fiction: they were building a giant 9 story ziggurat that was so big and such culture blend of people that it was named "Babel" which just roughly means "confusion".
The fictional religious story seems to twist this into some xenophobic shit as always.
It probably just fell down because nobody had made one that big before so they didn't know that it even could collapse because material science hadn't even been invented yet.
Which apparently happened a lot, like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fidenae - 20,000 people died, insane. That was quite normal in the ancient architecture sadly.
Well I mean when you haven't invented geometry yet, you kinda have to just learn as you go. "Oh if I don't brace these walls it could collapse and kill us all" was something people had to learn the hard way.
I recently went on one of those glass sky walks on a sky scraper and people would be lining up and clenching their buttholes hard today, can't imagine the culture around architecture back in those times - everyone was either just ready to go or sweating all the time just doing menial tasks lol
I bet you can't prove that it wasn't a fully operational space elevator built by the same aliens who built the pyramids that they then sabotaged when they left/integrated into human society in order to prevent humans from becoming a space-fairing civilization and competing with/drawing attention from our advanced intergalactic neighbors.
Are those the same aliens that turned the earth flat?
Also, that a city would have done what cities do, attract people from all over, from an array of cultures and languages.
It's literally an allegorical warning against diversity, and the perils of not hiring an engineer.
Funnily enough, something similar is probably the truth behind the "Exodus" and "Conquest of the Promised Land"
Tl;Dr the Israelites were just rural Canaanites
I think Abraham was originally from Ur, which was near Sumer...
But then again, nothing was written down until the time of Moses, so it really depends on how much you want to trust oral tradition.
The early Hebrew script was directly related to the Phoenician alphabet and Egyptian hieroglyphs though, so it does seem they at least had more than cursory contact with those civilizations
Yeah but Phonecians and Egyptians were in a shared trade sphere with Canaan. Phonecians were some of the primary traders of the Mediterranean and their city of Tyre is now in Lebanon. Ramesses II like many Pharoahs went on campaign in Canaan.
Canaan was a borderland between the spheres of influence of Mesopotamia and Egypt. It was a nice spot on the Mediterranean that never got powerful enough to challenge either for more than independence or mild incursion, and was far enough from each that it was hard to hold and different enough to contain exotic goods.
Abraham being from Ur makes sense. There's a lot of Mesopotamian influence in Judaism. Sure it's far, but the Hebrews saw themselves as people who left civilization after it became too corrupt to go be shepherds in the desert. All of that maps to things we know happened in various Mesopotamian cities at various times (and is common in all ancient cities). From there we have schismogenetic counterpoints with Mesopotamia, especially in the form of sexual mores (they aren't calling Babylon a whore because they think it's cool that Mesopotamians had sacred prostitution).
The bit I'm far more doubtful of is the long term enslavement in Egypt. Especially the stories of Joseph and Moses.
When you read the old testament there's a lot of stuff about how cities are bad and don't offer hospitality. That's a big deal with nomadic and semi-nomadic tribes, and was even the key sin in their description of Sodom and Gomorrah. It all harkons back to the early bronze age and that transition into sedentary lifestyle, with a lot of oral traditions sticking around as scripture once it got written down.
Even in Genesis, God supposedly preferred the sheep herder over the agrarian
Yeah it gives the story of Cain & Able a whole new meaning. Imagine being in the situation as presented. You are literally the 3rd and 4th humans to exist. All you know is that God is awesome but your parents fucked up so now you have to work for a living. You bust your ass every day to make sure the food you've planted grows to provide not just for your family, but to give to God for some reason, just in case he's hungry is 8 whatever.
Your brother does the same, but instead of vegetables he murders a fucking lamb. Maybe he kills sheep for food all the time, out maybe this is literally the first time he's ever killed one. Your parents never ate meat, they lived in the Garden and are fruits and vegetables. But here's God giving your brother mad props for his baby animal murder while you sacrifice a month's worth of food and God - God - is all "yeah whatever, should have killed something that bleeds instead."
You'd have lost your mind too, your whole psychological worldview just got bitch slapped by the Almighty. "Oh he wants blood? Okay, I know where to find plenty. C'mere brother."
And people wonder why I call their god the Tyrant.
The shepherd thrives by exploiting the existence of a fellow animal’s flesh for their own gain. God (religion) thrives by exploiting a fellow human being’s hopes, fears, insecurities, and desire for purpose for it’s own gain. Plants are alive but not to the same level of awareness we can recognize in other animals, and we do have to eat something to stay alive. But it’s little wonder that a made up god favors the development of hierarchies of exploitation that use those who commodify others most effectively as the best example.