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Sounds like he was serving up a narcissist word salad. How accurately does this describe Trump's response?
1. Complete lack of logic
The first most overt sign of ‘narc speak’ in action, is unsurprisingly the nonsense that issues forth. It is the very epitome of verbal chaos.
You’ll find a bunch of unrelated words and concepts all smooshed together, including contradictions and disjointed phrases, or random irrelevant and impromptu comments thrown at you.
The effect and very deliberate purpose of this is to leave you entirely unable to follow the narcissist to throw you off your game in following YOUR logic and holding them to account for their behaviour.
2. Circular conversations & repetition
It’s not just about absurd semantics as it relates to words, it’s also about being caught in structural hell completely reflective of their disordered mind.
Linearity is something the narcissist assiduously avoids in discussion, particularly so when a topic is raised that is in some way challenging them or seeking to hold them to account for their behaviour.
By frustrating the logical progression of a point of view from A to B to Z, the point is never made and accountability a non-event. The key tactics used are repetition and circular conversations that lead NOWHERE.
This strategy is also used not only to frustrate your argument, but to frustrate you into submission, relinquishing further attempts to resolve the matter at hand.
As well as communicating to you that YOU are the problem, otherwise the poor exasperated narc would not need to keep stating the same things they have already told you!
3. Overgeneralisations
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is marked by a set of pervasive behaviours which are underpinned by certain cognitive errors. One of these is the tendency to overgeneralise which is due to their black and white thinking resulting from something called ‘splitting’.
Splitting is the inability to comprehend that people (and things, events etc.) are usually made up of strengths and weaknesses, positive and negatives. The pathological narcissist cannot intellectually integrate these two concepts into the one whole.
This means that their world view is one of extremes. You will be familiar with this with the stark contrasts of idealisation vs. devaluation and discard, for example.
Within the context of the word salad, you’ll cop a bunch of ‘you always…’ statements, because for the narc, if you do something once, they draw the conclusion that you always do so and assign you a label. You know the ones: ‘you always take things too seriously’, ‘you’re always so sensitive’ etc.
4. Projection & blaming
Projection is evident when the narcissist handballs their flaws onto you. Whatever is unacceptable within them is attributed to you. You know it’s happening when their very own traits are being flung at you. ‘You’re so selfish’, ‘all you do is lie and deny’, ‘there’s something wrong with you, you are mentally unstable’ etc.
Similarly, any relationship difficulties must be the fault of others. Specifically, yours.
They go to any extent to construct a reason, or excuse as to why ‘the thing’ is your fault. No matter how completely bonkers their finger pointing may sound, you are blamed for everything.
‘It’s your fault I’m yelling at you, you’re making me do it’, ‘of course I’m sleeping around you are not attractive enough for me’ blah, blah, blah… 5. Denial & gaslighting
There is no concrete evidence solid and indisputable enough that the narcissist in their hubris will not deny its existence.
They make bold statements one second, and in the very next sentence proclaim, ‘I never said that’.
Before your very eyes they undertake an act only to hold your gaze steadily and pronounce ‘that never happened’.
You may look at irrefutable proof like a written document in their own hand, or even footage of them busy at something, and they assert ‘it wasn’t me’.
Denial is all about protecting themselves from reality due their inability to cope with who and what they really are.
It’s also gaslighting in action. Repeatedly denying fact has the pleasing effect of having you question your take on reality, and whether you are indeed the problem.
6. It’s all about winning & losing
Listen to the language used by the narc with as much detachment as you can.
There is NOTHING that will issue forth from their mouth that is about finding solutions and relationship building.
Their verbiage will centre on establishing they are right, and you are wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Every interaction for the pathological narcissist is a matter of competition.
No matter what you say, they will engage in a duel of words to establish you are wrong.
They’ll do this on EVERY utterance you make, even about completely inconsequential things, because to their minds if you they make you wrong about everything, you must also surely be wrong about any concerns you have about their behaviour.
Not only this, but clearly this is also classic supply. By making you always wrong, they believe this authenticates that they are always right.
7. Narc rage
This bad baby is horrifying.
In the true sense of narcissistic rage, it is the fury that is sparked by being unmasked. Being found out. Of realising that another sees them for what they really are…and more than this, it is their own flash of insight that underneath their denial, they are the very opposite of superior, always right, omnipotent and always in control.
And this moment of comprehension is the narcissistic injury that flips the switch on white hot fury expressed from verbal through to physical aggression.
For anyone wondering if someone in their life might have npd, diagnosis requires 5 of the 9 criteria outlined in the DSM-V. Many of the symptoms are common traits, but this is disordered levels we're talking about. You can't diagnose someone with it, but you can accept that that person in your life sure seems to meet the diagnostic criteria of it.
They aren't some mystical threat or uniquely evil group. They're people with a mental disorder that is likely learned behavior, and they may very well be capable of changing and healing with help, but most, much like the president here, wouldn't ever consider it. Sorry about all the caveats, it's valuable information that many misuse.
From the Cleveland Clinic's page on narcissistic personality disorder:
Overestimating their capabilities or holding themselves to unreasonably high standards. Bragging or exaggerating their achievements.
Success. Power. Intelligence. Beauty. Love. Self-fulfillment.
Thinking they’re special or unique. Believing they should associate only with those they see as worthy.
Fragile self-esteem. Frequent self-doubt, self-criticism or emptiness. Preoccupation with knowing what others think of them. Fishing for compliments.
Inflated sense of self-worth. Expecting favorable treatment (to an unreasonable degree). Anger when people don’t cater to or appease them.
Consciously or unconsciously using others. Forming friendships or relationships with people who boost their self-esteem or status. Deliberately taking advantage of others for selfish reasons.
Saying things that might hurt others. Seeing the feelings, needs or desires of others as a sign of weakness. Not returning kindness or interest that others show.
Feeling envious of others, especially when others are successful. Expecting envy from others. Belittling or diminishing the achievements of others.
Patronizing behavior. Behaving in a way that’s snobby or disdainful. Talking down or acting condescendingly. People with NPD may also show other behaviors related to the nine criteria, but still different, such as:
Fear of or avoiding vulnerability. Withdrawing from others to hide feeling vulnerable. Perfectionism (with or without a fear of failure). Hypersensitivity to criticism, rejection or failure. Experiencing severe depression related to rejection or failure. Reacting with anger (or even rage) when they feel criticized or rejected. Faking humility to hide their feelings or protect their sense of self-importance. Avoiding situations where failure is possible or likely, which can limit achievements.
What is the evidence that it's possible to recover from NPD? I'm genuinely curious.
Last I heard the main barrier to recovery was believed to be that people with NPD very rarely seek and stick with treatments. Quick search isn't really showing me evidence in either direction, but a lot of reputable sources such as Harvard, the Cleveland Clinic, and the Mayo Clinic all saying therapy can help. Also the similarities with BPD leave me suspicious that DBT may help. But this may just be me wishing the narcissist in my life were to have sought help.
Yeah NPD and BPD are linked and BPD are notoriously hard to treat. One day they will just proclaim they are completely mentally well and stop taking all their meds. Once that happens, the only way I have seen to get them back onto meds and into therapy is some complete breakdown of their life... Which almost always inevitably happens, although it can take years for things to spiral.
Yeah, unfortunately I've been on the receiving end of that one too. But I've also known people who seemed to have dealt with it long term. What I notice in them is an eternal vigilance of a similar sort to addicts who stay permanently clean. They understand that the easiest and safest place to stop their destructive patterns is when it's about to start.
That said, I wasn't aware of medication being used for any personality disorder, I was under the impression that the only effective treatment was dbt.
Trump meets all 9 easily demonstrable.
In fact that's one thing that he's good for. If someone asks "what's narcissism" you just go "like Trump". And then they'll totally know what it means 😆
In fact calling it Trump syndrome might be the one thing that deserves his name on it.