As capitalism gets more and more mask off brutal and it becomes harder and harder to ignore that the democracy people thought they had is at best very limited and easily revoked, the paradigm shifts more and more to a sort of internalised existential self reduction. A very natural response to life under capitalism, after all, life under capitalism has very little meaning for the average proletariat so why wouldn't people come to the conclusion that life is meaningless? I see a very tired, nihilist society.
It's like watching someone in an abusive relationship. People have been conditioned by their abuser into a state of submission via exsaution and erosion of their identity, their agency and their self-confidence. They want to escape, but are controlled by their abuser via financial, emotional and even the threat of physical abuse. This works well for the ruling class, as such victims are understandably very hard to organize. There is an attitude of "I don't matter and nothing I do matters, how would organizing change anything. It's unrealistic, egocentric even, to expect better." That we have to contend with and keep in mind when we try to mobilize people living in these conditions. I've struggled with such thoughts my entire life, and it's very strange to see such a thing slowly become so normalized.
Anyway, don't ever let the ghouls make you feel like you don't matter. The workers of the world deserve better than this
I've certainly struggled with a sense of sense worth my whole life, never really fitting in anywhere, never really finding another person that understands me, always very susceptible to nihilism and defeatism and isolation. Even being communist/ML its so much easier to just give up and let the world pass you by, after all im just one man what could i possibly change?
I dont like being that way, its of no use and it just further isolates me from literally everyone i know and anyone i could ever meet. I am working, so so very hard, to change how i act. to fight for what i believe. to be a real, whole human for possibly the first time in my life.
I dont know what im doing but im doing something at least; im trying.
The worst part is that while i try to improve i see the few people left in my life stuck in the same mindset (although not as severe as mine was) that while these things are worth fighting for it is ultimately pointless so why try. I can get them to agree, conceptually, that the fight is worth it but, practically, they still would rather rot on their phones (or another such unproductive activity) than try to do something
That's a lot of weight to carry on your own, my friend
yeah, ngl your response made me tear up a bit
its hard to fight your own nature, especially when capitalism very much wants you to submit, but that shit got me no where, with no one in my life, just working a job i fucking despise. I dont wanna be cattle. i dont wanna be a drone. i dont want to be completely isolated. All we can do is fight to better ourselves and, hopefully, society as a whole
Big mood. Remember they can only make you feel like a drone. You aren't one. You will never not be human, no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise.
Thank you comrade