this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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Hello everyone!

I just recently came out to my partner as possibly (probably) trans. Everything has gone well and they and our closest friends are very supporting and caring. I couldnt really have had a better opening up I feel like.

Now, I feel like this has been a long time coming. I have never really felt comfortable with who I was ever since I was 12-13, I am 26 now. I have never had the space, surroundings or environment to explore or talk about this until now so I've had a lot of time to think and feel.

I am pretty sure I am trans but Im still not a hundred percent. I know she/her pronouns resonate well with me and I feel very good when wearing feminine clothes and showing a more feminine side that otherwise has been repressed. My partner helped me order some clothes the other day and I am very hyped to try those out.

Theres alot to think about and things I want to try and do, but I wanted to ask you all. What are your experiences, lessons or tips from your journeys? Is there anything I or maybe others in my situation could learn from?

Happy to hear anything and everything you want to share ❤️

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[–] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd say starting hrt (once you're more sure of who you are) is up there for most important things to do, the effects are life changing and any extra time you can be away from testosterone the better

past that, shave your body and paint your nails. learn makeup if you like and just be ready for a long journey. transition is a marathon, not a sprint!

proud of you for coming out, the hardest person to come to terms with is yourself

[–] isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

past that, shave your body and paint your nails. learn makeup if you like and just be ready for a long journey. transition is a marathon, not a sprint!

I would second the marathon part. Often the most distressing part of transition is from years 1-3 or so. At year one, the initial euphoria from coming out has worn off. But you're only one year in to what is really an 8-10 year second puberty. One year in, you're no more "done" with transition than an 11 year old is with normal puberty.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

ehh, i disagree

how fast second puberty goes depends on the person, sure, but significant progress can be made in 1 year for many people. there's no need to assume that "10 years" is an average time.

i assume that it also depends on how many emotional resources you can give to it. when you're constantly stressed out because work or sth else then you can't really focus on it and so it takes much longer.

It's not about significant progress. I'm talking about how long the process takes to actually get done. There's a lot of bad info out there about HRT only producing effects for the first two years or so. This comes from the fact that most studies on HRT effects simply don't last longer than two years.

But I've met many trans people who get distraught in the early part of HRT, concluding that "hormones do nothing" or that they're having no effect. Hell, I was one of them. And I am talking specifically about HRT here. Emotional resources and time don't really factor into what effects you get from HRT, unless you're so incredibly stressed that it's actually materially affecting your health.