this post was submitted on 03 May 2026
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"Sideloading" is anti-property-rights loaded language.
The correct term for installing something by means other than the Google-approved method is "installing normally."
It is the act of capitulating to Google's control, due to the incorrect belief that you need its permission to use your own property how you want, that needs a new term. So far all I've been able to come up with is "cuckloading," though I'm not happy with how sexism-adjacent it is and am open to suggestions.
Might be easier to come up with a specific name for installing something from Google. "Google loading" maybe.
The we just go back to "installing".
Walled-Garden-stalling?
"A googol steps to add an app"
Authoritarian-stall
Package Micromanager
Daddy Google's allowances
Controlware / Slaveware / Theirware
Controlware is good.
"Google loading" isn't derisive enough. The example I came up with isn't quite right, but I do want it to have that same feeling of being a grave insult. Maybe something like "simploading?" Or "dipshitloading?" "Brownloading" (think like "brownnosing")? IDK, I'm just spitballing here.
I was thinking bitchloading. Cause you're their bitch.
To really sell it in the US anyway, you could try renaming sideloading to “freedomloading” or maybe “freeloading” (which sounds very Tom Petty, or porn related like “loadblowing”)
Then to rename the vendor locked loading is tricky. Even the old term “jailbreaking” has negative or criminal connotations. Though the jail is where you were wrongfully imprisoned, but that doesn’t convey easily. You could try to flip it around and call the locked down version “jail loading”. Or “commie loading”, all you would need to do is get some democrats to pretend to support vendor lockin.
Problem is any legislator on either side is in the pocket of the corporations who will oppose this, so there is no incentive for a propaganda campaign on the other side. So everyone will renain convinced sideloading is evil criminal hacker shit.
freeloading is already a verb in english, and not the one you're looking for
"Ransom loading"?
"Slaveloading". Because who doesn't want to be a corporate slave?
Nah cuckloading is perfect. The best way to make an insult like that not effectively belong to the sexists is just to use it in non-sexist contexts. The intrinsic meaning of cuck is perfect for this. Fuck the extrinsic meaning. We can change that.
"Sexism adjacent"...
Complains about how language is politicized and used to control people and then turn around and do the same exact thing for another topic in the same breath. Jesus.
Huh, turns out self-defense is justified, while aggression is not. Who knew?!