this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
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I actually don't know if this is the case all over China or just some parts, but I've seen it mentioned in a lot of places.

Salsa: https://satwcomic.com/manners-are-important

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[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (4 children)

It's reserved for really close friends (sometimes also relatives). The problem is not the extent of politeness per se, but one that exceeds the "expected" politeness. If you're politer than you're supposed to be, you are being too 客气 ("acting like a guest") or 见外 ("looking like a stranger").

Although, the expected politeness is sometimes tricky to know as it depends on each part's perception of the relation. On top of that, there's also the supposed "acting" of politeness, like fighting to pay restaurant bills.

This is actually not that hard to understand. Note that across cultures, close friends can insult each other as jokes. So showing less politeness is like an insult, but with the understanding of the participants, it becomes a show of closeness.

[–] Janx@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago

Send me $1000.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 days ago

Great. I would be even more screwed in China.

[–] mriormro@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’m going to continue existing not needing to process this much social protocol.

[–] Alaknar@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Unless you're a literal basement dweller, you're processing this much social protocol every single day of your conscious life.

[–] mriormro@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 hours ago

ADHD and autism are my shield.

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

One more thing to freak out about. Which level of politeness is appropriate. Im polite by nature! Oh no, what if I've already offended people?!?

[–] atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago

here are some tips on how to be less polite (in no particular order):

  • Set yourself a goal
  • Find yourself an arch enemy that opposes your goal
  • Be willing to sacrifice anything to defeat your archenemy
  • Steal a gun from your arch enemy
  • Forget about or surpress unimportant emotions like empathy
  • Ascend to a higher plane of existence
  • Never give up under any circumstance (Borrow willpower from the future if necessary)
  • Be insanely patient
  • Smile at the misfortune of others
  • Be sarcastic always, never show your real emotions