this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2026
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[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My wife complains about this to me. But in my defense, I only ask if I don't really want to go myself. "Let's go to the court house together" vs "you can come if you want". I don't want to subject her to the same shit I'd rather not be doing.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I've found myself in similar situations with past partners. I've found that "I need to go to x place. I'd love to have your company if you're not busy" is a good way to let them know that I want them there with me, but there's no obligation if they don't want to come.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

see to me that sounds like guilting them into coming.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

The other option sounds like "I don't care if you come".

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 2 points 14 hours ago

see for some its more I don't want to pressure you to come. If you can and want to thats great but really if you have anything you would rather be doing no big deal. I honestly wish I did not have to go.

[–] Focal@pawb.social 3 points 1 day ago

Yeah, same here. Communication is difficult already. I do not envy the difficulties neurodivergent folks go through in understanding this shit

[–] KazuchijouNo@lemy.lol 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks! I'll start using this, I'm surprised it's such a common thing, I tought I was just socially inept or something

I don't know how common it is, but I def tend to be socially inept. I think most people are socially inept in some situations though. The trick is finding someone with social ineptitudes that are compatible with yours.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know. I just thought it was a funny username.