Melbourne

Vacuumed and sprayed Glen 20 over his path again. Either this works or I’ve really screwed myself over and have bigger problems. I should have bought those plastic carpet runners but didn’t expect to do this. Wondering how effective carpet cleaner machines are against anything infectious… I used to have a carpet steamer I got rid of but that wouldn’t get hot enough. Damn carpet.

I haven’t begun trying to apply the cream to him because I haven’t had a chance to inspect him with the lamp. I seriously need a longer extension cord.

I’m unnecessarily stressing myself out when already in a bad state and am so not ready for another pet. He won’t accept being an inside kitty. It’s also costing money.

But when someone suggested it might be time to trap him in the house and call the rescue contact to take him and try and find him a foster placement I felt so bad about sending him away. Didn’t want to make and live with that decision. At least letting him check out the house makes it easier to trap him if he needs medical treatment or his outdoor situation is no longer working and he needs to be adopted. Situation still in limbo. I’m torn.

Waiting on a Halo brand scanner to see if that will pick up a microchip. It’s still budget but a more reliable brand. I should have spent the extra money to get it from the site that sells to vets… Fingers crossed ebay doesn’t send a counterfeit.

I’m still thinking of Melbcat a lot. I spent most of today just struggling emotionally and sleeping. I’m in a bad way. Thinking about how she died towards the end of summer so she got to soak up those last sun rays at the window. She loved summer. But now I don’t get the extra affectionate winter cuddles. It’s so strange to not be spooned then gradually pushed out of bed.

The house feels empty without her and extra bare with the cleaning I’ve done. Had to do. Everything looks different and it feels like it’s wiping away our old life together.

We were so bonded it feels like I’d had her forever and then she was gone in a blink of an eye. I haven’t even begun to deal with it. I feel like my grieving process is being rushed so it may just be mostly suppressed for later.