askchapo

let's reframe this to : is it OK to flirt in general? when you don't have any intentions of taking it further than just flirting. (regardless of being in a relationship or not.)

I am, or at least was, of the opinion that flirting in this manner is generally acceptable and harmless. In my view, flirting is something very casual and doesn't really indicate a desire for that person, so much as it reflects my desire for attention.

However, it can be viewed as inappropriate. if people know you are in a relationship and they see you flirting, their opinion of you is not going to be very good. They're going to say stuff like, "they're totally leading them on!"

It can also lead to situations where you do actually lead someone on intentionally or not, and they approach you looking for something more. And when you turn them down, they're going to be upset, and people who observed the situation are going to be upset with you too.

Unfortunately, you never know who is going to react this way, so in my opinion it's not really a safe activity in practice. You never know who is going to decide that flirtation is an invitation. In fact, people will see you as an invitation for much less.

So this has led to me being very sanitized in my interactions, I try not to flirt at all. The only people I would flirt with are those who I am friends with and we have an understanding with each other.