this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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askchapo

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Flirting (lemmy.ml)
submitted 16 hours ago by electric_nan@lemmy.ml to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Hi friends. Is it fucked up to flirt with someone with no intention of taking it further? I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship. Sometimes I crave a little validation from strangers. I'm not going to cheat on my partner, but I do have a need to feel desirable to others. I don't feel like a bit of flirting is a betrayal of my relationship, but I'm less confident about how other people feel. Like, I don't want to waste someone else's time, but I guess maybe I am leading people on a bit if I chat with them without mentioning my partner.

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[โ€“] Oskolki@hexbear.net 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

You want to flirt with someone, there's bound to be people who want to be courted, but if there's explicit consent then the relationship between the Flirter and the Flirted on crumbles, because the thrill is in either being dominated or dominating others. This relationship dynamic is impossible to resolve, at best you can create a 3rd space where you let people consent to non-consensual acts.

That is an application of Dialectical materialism.