this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
-5 points (38.1% liked)

Asklemmy

53670 readers
607 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 7 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Just brainstorming on what I would do with absolute power, and one of the first things i would get to work on (after climate change, eradicating the idea of wealth, and installing global supply lines to freely ship food everywhere) is, what in my mind, the crux of todays issues. As far as i can see, every single issue through every level of our society is caused by or aggravated by the loneliness epidemic (lets discuss that in the comments) As such, ive spent a lot of time studying its effects, causes, and potential solutions. As far as the mens side goes, from personal experiance, I think there are two major issues.

  1. The future we were promised, the life our parents had, and even our basic dignities are being stripped away by the declining economic state. Not much the ladies can do about this one.

  2. Due to #1, a feeling of "not being good enough" causes us to become reclusive until we feel we have achieved some level of success. That never happens, so that creates mental issues that lead to our problems.

Said mental issues include, but are not limited to: decline in ability to socialize. Personally(i am autistic) i feel that humans have a lot of customs that I just dont understand. I didnt "get" kissing until i experianced it, and even then its not really the kissing i enjoy so much as the person wanting to kiss me. I still dont understand sexting or role play. But this is far from limited to sexuality. Ive largely been surrounded by men since my depression hit, and now I get this indescribable anxiety around women that ive never had before. I dont feel that it should hinder me, im used to anxiety and can operate under its influence. But the fact that its noticable is an issue, because its my understanding that people in general are atteacted to confidence. Wouldnt it be nice if I had some sort of social program i could go to to just be around/engage with women? Not to flirt or find partners, but to just reacclimate myself to being around potential partners. I cant train men on how women want to be treated, and I wouldnt even want to tell men how women should be treated seeing as im not a woman.

So that leads us into the actual question: would you be willing to take a job where you pretty much just train men on how to act around/ treat women? I'm... hopefully fine enough, not really even looking to date anymore. But I do know a lot of men, and some of them are definitely way worse off than i am. Some of the men are like actual dogs, 0 self control around women. My hypothesis is that no woman has ever overcome their repulsion long enough to explain how they should change their behavior.

To be clear, im not blaming women for any of this. Its typically not safe to correct mens behavior. Thats why i think this sort of thing should exist, a place where women can go to actually speak their mind and directly confront problematic behavior in a safe and controlled environment. Things like consent should be thouroughly explained and put into practice. Again, not talking sex. This would be stuff like spending an hour listening to women speak their mind and taking questions, then maybe an hour of dancing lessons. An hour of something similar to speed dating where you swap partners every 15 minutes or so and just talk. Whatever catches your interest. There should probably be some physical contact, humans learn a lot through contact. Again, because every time I bring up stuff like this I get called a pervert and dismissed, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL CONTACT. This is not "what if your school was softcore porn". This is literal school, back when they had actual sex education in classes.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I have a sneaking suspicion im not alone in wanting this. It seems my post was largely poorly worded. Im primarily advocating for something i believe will help others, because ive talked to other people(both men and women) and they seem to have some desire for something like this. I think the issue comes in because i spend my time thinking about how to solve other peoples problems but I view them through the lens of my rationale, why I would do those things or make those decisions, which leads to people assuming im advocating for this for my benefit.

When I see men catcalling women and getting scorned, I can see that it has an effect on both parties. The women are disgusted and sometimes scared, and the men are hurt, lonely, and oblivious. The only way I can think that I would get to the point of trying those thing is if previous attempts had failed. If all my romantic ventures up until then had not worked out, so I need to try something new. That is a willingess to change, but without direction they dont know WHAT to change. This can very easily lead to them becoming worse, creating a feedback loop that leads to nothing but shitty men in our society. So by giving them that guidance on what to change, they would have a better chance of integrating themselves into society. Even better if that information isnt coming from some alpha male on youtube or some thread on the internet written by men, it needs to be a woman telling them how to change and they might actually take it to heart.

ha, k. i get it, and youre not wrong about gaining those skills.

I would think a good therapist would be able to provide exactly the kind of inter-human training needed to achieve what youre discussing. the tools exist, the people are out there. can any of those who really want that help afford it? prolly not.

we don't have a 'we need this thing to exist' problem... we have a 'no one wants to pay for that thing that already exists' problem, as usual.

that said, you pointed out this causes a lot of societal problems though, and it seems many of the most vocal or problematic are those people (men) who dont think they are the problem at all. no amount draggin them to the help well is going to make them drink.