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Hey, this sounds like me in my 20s:
Which lead me to decades of drinking and smoking weed. Diagnosis-wise, my therapist landed on CPTSD. Which isn't recognized in the US. it's (apologies if this offends any folks diagnosed with CPTSD out there) kind of a catch all for folks whose situation could be described as you've described here. Think of it like the IBS of mental health diagnoses. Anyways, the diagnosis doesn't help much.
Are the intense pains the relational trauma you alluded to? Bc that's normal. Not fun, but normal. I won't praddle on and assume a bunch here, but usually deep hurt leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms which kind of regularly create the "simple" problems. Leaves you feeling stuck.
So, there is no magic pill. There might be a better antidepressant. There might not be. I've been on several over the last decade. Landed on one that works. I know it works because I only cry when I am really really upset but I still tear up and have emotions for things like art, etc. my emotions aren't flat. They're under control. That's how I know. Everyone's different.
Here's where folks give up: there is no magic pill. There is a cure, though. It's exercise. I know. I'm sorry. It's awful.
Finding the right med isn't a magic pill. It will get your emotions under control. They're crutches. Not prosthetics. Once you're doing okay-ish, the only thing that's gonna get us chronically down folks feeling better on the regular is exercising on the regular.
I hate gyms. I hate running. I hate working out near people. So, I hike. I drive to a nearby hill and walk up it. Then I walk back down and drive home.
Just like 30 mins of walking every day will genuinely make a massive difference. My pro tip: walk fast enough that you are forced to focus on your breathing. Leave no space for rumination. If you're still ruminating, find a steeper hill or walk faster.
In my 20s, I would have never even read a response that suggested exercise was a piece of the puzzle I was trying to solve. If I never did, I almost certainly wouldnt have made it through my 30s.
No professional has diagnosed me, but from looking at things online, I seem to have traits of BPD and CPTSD.
While I appreciate the time you took to sit here and think of a response to things, I just want to say that I honestly find this sort of "exercise cures you" stuff offensive. Again, I understand you are well meaning and not intending to hurt me. I understand that it worked for you. That's great!
I listened to the people that said exercise improves your mental health. I gave it a shot. I didn't just give it a shot. I fully committed.
Several years back I started running. I was surprised at how consistent I managed to be for so long. I ran every other day or every third day. I was consistent for 1.5 years somehow. I never managed to commit to something that long.
But I never saw the benefit of "improved mood". People on the internet would say "you're just not running fast enough" or "you're just not running hard enough". So I did. I ran faster and faster and farther and farther. Before I ended up dropping the whole thing, I was consistently running 8 miles every other day. The longest I ran was 10 miles a few times.
I kept going further and further and harder and harder hoping I would find the magic distance or speed that would improve my life. It never did.
Running actually did impact my emotions, but in an unhelpful way. What running actually did was magnify my current emotions. You can see how this is a problem for someone who's issue is suffering from extreme emotions. I didn't want them to be more extreme. The happy parts were fun, but the lows would get so much worse.
I tried so hard for so long and it never helped me. So I take a bit of offense to people offering that to me as a magic cure or something to help when it wasn't.
Yeah, that's about what I would have said in my 20s. I know better than to argue with me in my 20s.
Good luck.
https://www.npr.org/2026/01/12/nx-s1-5667599/exercise-is-as-effective-as-medication-in-treating-depression-study-finds
Thanks for ignoring and dismissing my lived experience and inensive, sustained, consistent efforts. Not sure why age matters. I'm in my 30s.
I am not dismissing your lived experience, I have been empathizing with it.
You called a well known cure for your issues "offensive."
Don't expect to call folks attempt to empathize with you and help you "offensive," and subsequently be babied. Go for a walk or dont, idgaf dude.
You can lead a horse to water...
I spoke at length about how I tried very hard for a very long time at the "well known cure". You ignored me and continued to say that that was the cure all when I literally said that it did not work for me.
I am offended because you completely dismissed this and just re-stated your original post. I am offended because it looks like you didn't even read my response.
Here is a reduced format of what this sounds like.
You: X is the cure all
Me: I tried X and did not see a benefit. Here is my experience with it.
You: Cool story, bro but X is the cure all
If you can't see how this is unhelpful and offensive, I don't know what to do tell you.
I am not interested in what you have to say. I provided you help. You called it offensive. Cool. Use it or don't.
Bye.
Thanks for ignoring what I have to say and invalidating me, friend. I hope others treat you with the same kindness you have shown to me.