this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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I can barely do anything for myself in the "adulting" realm and I want to change that.
I am going through the process of having to "reparent" myself. My mum is a helicopter parent. She thinks I am not capable of doing anything and tries to do it for me. Or she cooks food and I eat it. I am grateful that she does things for me, but I see people my age being entirely self-sufficient and I feel like shit.My boyfriend practically lives alone in his family home. He does everything for himself. In my house, everyone's washing gets washed together. Even if the boyfriend does a load of washing, it is all his.
If I ever have kids, I am teaching them chores as soon as they are ready. I would have really benefitted from a sense of mastery as a kid, especially with physical tasks that take me a lot longer than other people to get. Also self-compassionate talk and validating their emotions. Watch that go out the window in the heat of the moment.
I had a similar upbringing. Wog parents mentality is to do everything for their kids, even into adulthood; especially for sons. I really didn’t learn much day-to-day life skills living at home. At the time I hated this, especially comparing myself to more independent people in my life.
Moving out of home came with a sharp learning curve to care for myself, but i think I can say with confidence now that I am very self-sufficient. You will learn the skills you need when you need to, you are not “behind”, and honestly I miss my parents doing stuff for me because now I spend a lot of my non-work time doing chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, gardening and more. I don’t really enjoy doing any of it - I like to keep a clean home and a nice-looking garden and that's stressful, it’s a lot for one person especially.
This!! It does seem like the grass is greener. I do value the wog thing where you get taken care of as an adult.