this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
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TLDR I'm a little boy! I wonder if scorpions can fly!
so, there's a kid who grew up in my town. i can talk about him now because multiple kids from my town have grown up to play ball for the MLB. this kid, when he was growing up he came out front one day about four years old. we were just hanging out not thinking and suddenly he just chucks his older brother's hamster as hard as can be across the street. kid grew up to pitch. at 4 he could throw better than i can now at [forty-mumble]. we gathered around him like "woah, what the fuck are you thinking dude" and he very innocently said "i wanted to see if it could fly". So like, there were a ton of kids on the block [we had enough for two whole teams and that's even if someone was staying in sick] and from that moment on, we all kept an eye on this 4 year old, from the 5-year-olds on up because we all knew how serious what just happened was. Only person to follow the hamster was his brother whose former pet had recently flown a few houses down the road and everyone else was focused on "is this 4-year-old showing early signs of being a serial killer or what the fuck why would he throw a hamster". Like, that kind of focus and attention from everyone, and specifically in his family it may have been the cause of his not getting involved in gangs and his older brothers doing so because of disproportionate parental attention anyways i'm getting real armchair psychologist now but aside from his oldest brother being like, wholehearted fascist they're all doing alright so i warned you with a tldrbut i gotta say it's real fun being in neighborhood games and demoralizing them when your pitcher is a 4-year-old and you're striking them out.
I feel like I just sat down next to you in a seedy bar. Thanks for sharing