this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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I can barely do anything for myself in the "adulting" realm and I want to change that.
I am going through the process of having to "reparent" myself. My mum is a helicopter parent. She thinks I am not capable of doing anything and tries to do it for me. Or she cooks food and I eat it. I am grateful that she does things for me, but I see people my age being entirely self-sufficient and I feel like shit.My boyfriend practically lives alone in his family home. He does everything for himself. In my house, everyone's washing gets washed together. Even if the boyfriend does a load of washing, it is all his.
If I ever have kids, I am teaching them chores as soon as they are ready. I would have really benefitted from a sense of mastery as a kid, especially with physical tasks that take me a lot longer than other people to get. Also self-compassionate talk and validating their emotions. Watch that go out the window in the heat of the moment.
Oh dear. I wasn't in quite the same boat, could cook, clean, and power tool when I left at 17. Money and adulting paperwork on the other hand was a shit show and I made some profoundly stupid decisions. Still do really, must learn about Super properly soon!!
You've got this!