this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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Mental health, grieving
I feel so sad and scared all of the time. There has been talk of antidepressants but I've tried so many and none of them have worked. They just cause intolerable side effects with no benefit and then severely destabilize me when I have to come off them. So I'm stuck like this. Treatment resistant.
I wrap Melbcat's urn in a blanket burrito and hold it close at night to feel like she's still there. It's something but not really helping fully. It's only been 21 days which both looks like so long but feels like nothing. I still can't believe she's gone.
The people around me are supportive but have limited availability and have their own lives which are very separate from mine. Other old friends have drifted. Other people move on from your grief a lot faster than you do. And social thinning is very real as an adult.
so many hugs
can you ask your doctor if he knows any real life support groups
and of course there are support groups on the internet, we are here too
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I might do that, thanks
There's a number of pet bereavement services out there. I can't name any specific ones but I'd query https://grief.org.au/ for recommendations.
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In the past I was very adverse to medication due to side effects, till I found a Dr that was willing to work with my concerns and we found a non-SSRI med that didnโt have the side effects I was worried about (Agomelatine/ Valdoxan). It may be worth broaching the topic with your GP to explore options.
I also wonder if a commissioned soft toy of Melbcat would be comforting. It may also be safer than her Urn to sleep with. ๐ค
You are doing so well working through this grief. The first month is the hardest. Numbness seeps in a bit like a scab.
I lost my dog a couple of years ago.
spoiler
**it was the hardest thing to bear. If I hadnโt have been in a relationship with someone else acting as a tether at the time, Iโm not sure Iโd still be here.I hope you gentle recovery and I hope this somewhat helps or consoles you. ๐ค
I've tried that one repeatedly. It made me mildly sleepy for a few weeks initially then pooped out, now it does nothing. I'm possibly a lost cause.
Soft toys are too light. They feel cold and dead.
I'm sorry to go on but I loved my cat like a child and losing her has been the straw that broke the camels back.
Completely understandable. No need to be sorry. ๐ซ
Iโm sorry for the unsolicited advice. I only wish there was some way to help. Which I also know is impossible.
It's cool, I'm just a bit inconsolable