Autism

I have ADHD, maybe mild autism too, but don't want that tested. I'm also a millennial. I never got married because I never found someone that loved me enough to deal with what I thought at the time were quircks.

I have a handful of really close friends but a huge amount of awuaintances. My random nature and disassociation never allowed me to make enough of a connection to get married, despite dating a lot. On top of that, most gfs said I acted more like an older brother than a serious SO.

That being said, it's only been recently that I've realized I have it. My mother was asked multiple times to get me tested, and refused. She thought that if I got tested "they" would put me on drugs and I "wouldn't be myself". In reality, she didn't want to have the "weird" kid. So I had to grow up not knowing or understanding what was wrong with me.

I had so many relationships that would have been perfect if I had known. Even knowing what the issue was, would have helped, let alone therapy and medicine. As a middle aged man that's only now coming to understand this stuff, I have no hope of finding a quality partner at this age. I feel all the good ones are taken and that's that.