this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Explanation: Fort Vaux was a bunker held by the French in WW1. Some 150 French soldiers held out against the continuous attack of thousands of German troops. In that time, the French troops were bombarded, burned out with flamethrowers, attacked with chemical gas, and driven deep into the bunker where they fought hand-to-hand over makeshift barricades in the corridors, and asked for friendly artillery to bombard their own position. They took a terrible toll on the German troops, with the bunker too well-fortified for the explosives on hand to destroy, and every inch of it covered by French guns over narrow chokepoints. Hard to miss a man-sized target in a man-sized hall.
The French were entirely surrounded and cut off from allied forces - even water ran out, as the fort was meant to resist an assault, not a damn siege. After several days without water, men were so desperate that they would try to lick the moisture off the bunker walls. Only after it was apparent death by dehydration was imminent did they finally concede that further resistance was futile, and offer their surrender.
It's not that funny, though. Try making fun of the Alamo to Americans.
Most of us would probably laugh, honestly. Except Texans. But fuck Texans, they ruined Texas.
The Alamo, you know, the battle that a bunch of people died at while fighting to preserve their right to own other humans. The battle that took place in the only state that went to war twice to preserve their right to own humans...
In all fairness, I think we should remember the Alamo, too, just not for the reasons that phrase was coined. Remember the Alamo, where a bunch of racists were killed defending their desire to enslave black people. May all racists find their Alamo. And may it not take two wars to put those racists in their place.
Hate to break it too you, but American's joke about the Alamo a lot. Like, I would guess 9 outta 10 times it comes up, it's part of a joke.
I'd tell you one, but it's very forgettable.
9 out of 11 tasteless jokes Americans tell are 9/11 jokes.
And like that's a recent tragedy. I can't even tell ya when the Alamo happened.
As a Brit, literally all I really know about the Alamo is that Ozzy Osbourne once pissed on it while wearing one of Sharon's dresses.
As an american, I wish I knew that sooner!