Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
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Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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oh, there's a difference between that kind of peeking-to-see style staring, and the kind of staring we're talking about.
Here are some examples of the staring we're talking about:
1. I walk into a grocery store (this is early transition, so I look more or less like a man in a dress, or a man in a skirt with a blouse, etc.). On the opposite end of the store, there are a group of 20-something men who all blonde, wearing sleeveless shirts showing off their muscular arms, and they're talking to an older man. When I walk in, all of them start to turn and look at me. They continue to look at me as they talk and move about the store. I am still grocery shopping and minutes later they're still just openly staring, not looking away when I look up at them. They don't stop until they leave the store.
2. I am having dinner with three other women (I'm the only trans one, and I still look like a man in a dress). We're sitting outside on a picnic bench, and there multiple rows of benches. Sitting diagonal to my right is a man maybe in his 50s with his family. Every time I look up, he's looking at me. He doesn't look away, even when I meet his eyes. This lasts over an hour, the sun sets and he's still staring at me.
This is different from normal people staring at me or taking glances because I was visibly trans and they were curious, e.g. one time I was at a table in a restaurant the family next to us started to peek and look at me because at some point in the evening I outed myself and ended up on their radar, but the family sorta had their initial look and curiosity fulfilled, and then went back to their evening. This is a different kind of staring than what OP and I are describing, which is more like the intense / unwavering stare that some (in my experience usually only older, or hyper-masculine) men will do.
Anyway, don't worry too much about the worker you took a glance at, it's very unlikely you were perceived as one of these aggressive men.
I really appreciate the explanation. I'm glad that is not what I did and disgusted, but not surprised in the least, that other men do that shit.