Games

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Your likely best bet is whatever you'd call the genre RimWorld is in. RimWorld itself could probably scratch that itch if you up the number of colonies you can have in the settings and add a few mods that expand the world map-level gameplay.
Just a few thousand more mods and it will be perfect. lol
Rimworld feels like my kind of game but everytime I watch its trailer on steam I think "oh maybe it isn't".
Mostly the guns and stuff make it seem like it might not be the kind of game I expect.
They showcase the combat because action looks better in previews. Your base does get raided occasionally, but most of your time is spent balancing all the tasks a colony needs done and maintaining the fragile mental states of your limited number of colonists (it takes heavy inspiration from Dwarf Fortress in that regard).
You can also adjust the settings of the "storyteller" (the AI that makes events happen to shake up the gameplay) if you want a more peaceful community builder sort of experience.
Rimworld is a game that you get to play in the way you want to play. It allows you to choose the pace of your game and the difficulty by allowing you to choose a "storyteller" that determines the events that happen in your game and how often. You won't ever be able to turn off combat, but you can make it less of a problem.