The word "autism" originally came from psychiatrists' perceptions that autistic people are preoccupied with ourselves. So if I say "My boss is so autistic, it's disgusting", is that okay? Etymologically, it's valid. I'm not talking about a disorder. But I don't think it's an okay thing to say.

When psychiatrists made narcissism a label to apply to vulnerable people, I think they made it off limits for casual comments. I'm careful about labelling people as antisocial or paranoid too. Those are serious words used for serious conversations about mental health. That means they can be dangerous in untrained hands. Think of those words like power tools. You don't pick up a drill and start waving it around without the proper training and carefulness. That's going to get someone hurt. These words have just as much destructive potential, so we need to treat them the same way.

[–] jarvis@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

I appreciate the example and I think I see your point. I agree with the underlying logic, in general, but applying it to NPD seems an over extension.

Dictionary definitions for the two terms, as records of common usage, are notably different. Autism refers solely to the condition so your example sentence would be an inappropriate use. Acceptable and understandable in the language, but an uncommon application of the word. On the other hand, narcissism is used for general egoism and self importance first and for NPD second.

This of course doesn't invalidate your feelings when hearing the word or desire to protect others from the same, but maybe this can offer some comfort if the most common usage is not intended or even understood as a slur or even a reference to folks with NPD.