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Selfhosted
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Yes there are good iOS clients now. Snikket has an official one included and there is also https://monal-im.org/ which works well with other XMPP servers.
Oh that's good to hear. I'll most likely look into it again then, since client support was what was really holding me back. Do you have an XMPP server deployed? If so, what did you end up going with?
I run a relatively big XMPP server. For that Ejabberd is better. But in general I would recommend Snikket or Prosody (on which Snikket is based) for self-hosting. But not a huge difference overall.
Great to know. Thanks! I'm looking into them now.