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Work and shared hobbies. I recently went to buy some hardwood from a work colleague. We don’t even work the same shift but they’re fond of asking what I’m building or showing me what they’re building because who else are they going to talk to about their hobby (I imagine).
We’re not friends, but there’s this hobby. I get there and it’s not a mere business transaction nor do we talk work. It almost had a kid feel to it. Like when you crossed the hedge to the yard of the kid next door and he welcomes you because it’s more fun if you can show off and share your toys. Only as adults. Kudos on reclaiming a small piece of that.
Adulthood is such a roadblock sometimes.
Being an adult is hard, in so many different ways.
I miss kindergarten.
I love being an adult. It's amazing.
I absolutely hated Kindergarten.
At least in Kindergarten I didn’t know they were clueless. Now I’m an adult subjected to their whims and know they’re unstoppable idiots.
Sounds exactly like adult life with a job when you phrase it that way.
as an adult you can choose a job where you don't have to do that. I have one boss and he's competent.
That is not a choice that everyone can make.
Many people live in towns with fewer than five companies, with poor internet access. Many people have to keep odd schedules because of family care obligations. Many people are functionally illiterate. Many people have criminal convictions. There are a lot of things that can limit your ability to leave a job you already have.
Many people do accept work conditions worse than they have to, but not every worker is flexible enough to choose their work.
Then they have to move. I grew up in such a town. They have to learn to read. They have to change their circumstances. Nobody is going to change it for them.
I decided from a young age I would leave my community. It sucked. I hated my life there. It was a great motivation to get out, succeed, and never come back. I watched several of my friends make difference choices and move home even if they left and never leave and repeat the same miserable lives their parents lead.
It's a choice. You can make excuses for yourself your entire life, or you can make choices to change your life.
I felt trapped too when I was in that town. But I knew nobody was ever going to save me. but I could save myself, so that's what I did. And yes, i got punished by parents, my friends, by my former teachers, for being 'arrogant' and 'a douchebag' for wanting to improve my life and not settle for their miserable existences.
I’m glad for you. It sounds like you were smart or skilled enough to be presented with opportunities to leave and had the foresight to take them and the dedication to fully benefit from them. Not everyone is or has those qualities and that’s not a moral failing.
You overcame difficult circumstances, but that’s due to you being an exception, and whether that’s because of qualities inherent to you or luck is impossible to determine. The idea of it being luck is scary, but that doesn’t mean that everyone who doesn’t behave exactly as you did is to blame for their circumstances.
Surely you know people from your hometown who earnestly tried, but were just too dumb to really keep up in school or with complicated conversations among friends. Do you think they would be able to achieve what you have? What about the smart kids with severe ADHD who were flaky due to no fault of their own? If so, what use is your intelligence or ingenuity?
I was not gifted with anything dude. I made choices. I didn't party, I studied. I didn't do drugs, I did clubs to pad my resume. I ignored all the shitty advice and pressure from my family and friends to be a losers like they were. I endured physical and verbal abuse for years because of my choices. But I never gave up. After college I focused on paying down by debts, getting into graduate school and working. I didn't spend years screwing around trying to 'find myself' buy going into massive debt traveling and partying, like so many of my peers did.
No, I knew lots of people who are miserable assholes who blame everyone else for their shitty choices. Just like my parents did, just like their parents did. Nobody forced them to drive drunk, to work shitty jobs, to fail out of school. They chose that. Once I got out of school I never went back to that shitty town and my parents died anyways so I never had to.
Everyone is smart and capable. Everyone has opportunities. Some people decide to piss them away and mock and deride people who made better choices. Nobody is dumb or flaky, they are just lazy and unwilling to put in the work. Sounds like you are talking about yourself? Blaming your 'bad luck' and using that as an excuse to never improve your life?
The thing you are missing is that rich people get bailed out of their shitty choices. They aren't lucky, they are just rich. They can fuck up school, go into massive debt, and they get bailed out by their parents. Poor people don't get bailed out, so you have to be on the straight and narrow. I know lots of people like me, often they were immigrant kids who did the same thing because they also knew their only way out was working their asses off and they had no luxury to party or be lazy or relax. If you are poor and you choose to make bad choices, nobody is going to save you. Life isn't fair, but the only person who is in charge of your life is yourself.
Go achieve your desires. Nobody is stopping you but yourself. if you want to sit around and whine about how ADHD ruined your life... then that is going to be your life... forever. Just sitting around whining and blaming and being bitter and jealous other people made better choices than you did.
Swing and a miss. I decided to leave my home country because it’s broken, so after a decade of working and saving my own money, I did what I want to do. I went to a state school that gave me a full ride instead of a private school that I’d have to take loans out for, so I didn’t have any student loans holding me back and I could go back to school and get a masters in my new country. I actually just started teaching full time after training for the last couple of years.
I just have the empathy (and vicarious experience) to understand that not everyone is as fortunate as I am. It took a lot of hard work and diligence, but also a lot of luck. I wouldn’t assume that anyone who isn’t able to immigrate to a new country and begin teaching other new immigrants the language is lazy, likely to settle, or a failure. It’s difficult and like everything worthwhile in life, requires some luck to meet a lot of preparation at the right moment.
And lots of people don't choose to do that. They choose to sit around and be miserable and blame other people for their failures and their lack of effort. Sorry, I don't regard it as empathy to sit around feeling bad for people who messed up their own lives by making bad choices and then refusing to correct them. Everyone makes mistakes, but you can define yourself by them, or learn from them and make an effort.
I think you are missing my point entirely. I am condemning people who don't make any effort, or who give up. I have nothing against people who say, never leave their home town because they love it. What I am attaching is people who never leave their hometown and are consumed by bitterness towards others because they are so unhappy there and then complain they 'had no choice'. They always had a choice, they just refuse to make it because they are afraid of failure, and/or they refused to take responsibility for themselves and their bad choices.
What you seem to think is that these people had any agency. People have agency. They just refuse to acknowledge it, and their agency is to sit around being unhappy and day-dreaming rather than making changes to their lives. Nobody forced my friends from my hometown to do drugs, to get in trouble with the police, etc. But if you listen to them... it was never their fault. They HAD to do drugs, the police were MEAN to them for arresting them for drunk driving... that person they crashed into while drunk was an ASSHOLE. And if you don't agree with them then you are a JERK. Oh and by the way can they borrow some money? They will totally pay you back! (If you ever ask for the money back you are SELFISH ASSHOLE).
Lemmy is full of losers who just think life should hand them things, and in their own heads they are successful geniuses who deserve to be billionaires... No idea why you want to have empathy for such shitty people who think that way.
If you genuinely believe this (i personally think you're trolling), then you need to take a step back, look at your situation, and recognize how privileged you are.
A significant amount of problems in the world would be helped by The Privileged recognizing that their life is not representative of the lives of everyone else.
Nothing is more privileged than expecting other people to improve your life for you.
The irony of this whole discourse is that basically you think everyone should have the privileges of the wealthy, but you also think the wealthy shouldn't have the privileges they do. And you don't see the contradiction.
I wasn't wealthy. I worked my ass off. I've also seen people with way more money than me piss their lives away. Most of the most bitter losers I have ever known had trust funds.
What you don't understand is that the difference isn't money, or privilege. It's attitude. You want to shit on some hardworking aspring immigrant kid as a privileged twat for achieving their goals, and stupidly assume that the drugged party person somehow should have the same success in life, because nobody is responsible for themselves.
Or maybe worse, you see people who worked their way out of the working-class drudgery into a secure middle-class or upper-class existence as 'traitors'. Yeah, my entire family and friend thought I was a traitor too when I was growing up, because I wanted something better than living in a rural backwater place.
lol I'm not reading this novel.
There are millions of people who work shitty factory jobs so we can order our trinkets off Amazon and i care much more about them and their problems than privileged idiots.
Those people are the ones thay deserve life improvements, not the "grindset" "alpha males" that make the "bootstraps" talking points.
And there are millions of immigrants working in farm labor under much worse conditions for musch worse pay, do you feel worse for them?
From their POV the shitty factor job would be a huge upgrade.
And for those factory works, being an Amazon picker would be a huge upgrade.
Your issue is that labor exists, it sounds like.
yeah but cookies and juicy boxes.
who is stopping you from going to the store and buying cookies and juice boxes?
I buy that all the time! I love it.
Naps, cookies, juice boxes, why did we ever stop that?
I just woke up from a nap, and now I'm eating cookies. Don't have any juice boxes on hand tho; a can of cola will have to do.