Trans
General trans community.
Rules:
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Follow all blahaj.zone rules
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All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
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Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
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Questioning your own gender is never transphobic, quite the opposite really.
Your friend is wrong, "seeming" like one gender or another to other people doesn't matter in the slightest. I'm a trans woman, I'm not overly feminine or butch either way, some people see me as male, some see me as female. It doesn't matter what their opinion is, the only ones that does is my opinion that I feel like and am a woman. I don't understand the feeling of being non-binary or genderless, but that doesn't mean it's not valid or real to the people that do.
Other trans/nonbinary people don't get a vote for what your gender is just because they figured theirs out before you, or if you fit their predefined notion of what arbitrary traits represent each gender. If you feel like you're somewhere in between genders then you are, if you feel like your neither then you are. Gender is made up, it's just a concept humans developed because we like to organize things into simple little boxes. Black or white, up or down, girl or boy. But reality is rarely ever that clear cut or simple. It's messy and subjective. So if you feel like presenting a certain way, then go for it, everyone else be damned.
Thank you for your kind words.
It is very strange and foreign for gender to be put that way, compared to other things like black and white where most things are not so objective, it is a bit confusing for me to read it, but it makes so much sense! All of the people around me in my life do believe in gender being strictly binary (and that God created gender for the human), but this thinking makes so much more sense to me.
Do you know how to change my mindset, so I can tell myself I may not be a cis man fully without me thinking that I am transphobic for having these thoughts?
Just trust in your own intuitions, and if something feels right, go with it. Experiment, try out different cloths or hairstyles, just have fun with it. If you decide you don't like something after giving it a try, then oh well, try something else. Just find what works for you and makes you happy.
I can't do that in real life very much, I still need to look and dress masculine. I have longer hair to shoulders, but that is as much as I can do, and if I start dressing less masculine, the people in my life will be becoming suspicious.
You can do all this in private to see how you feel about it. Most trans an nonbinary people experiment in private before ever coming out publicly.