this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2026
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Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

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[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

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Important to note: I have OCD, and I seem to have this obsession with the idea of me being transphobic. I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I have known this for years, and I try my best to support everyone. I have a lot of trans friends, I love them a lot, and treat them and see them as I would anyone else.

So, I feel like I’m transphobic. Is there any evidence of this? No. I’ve been a vocal supporter about LGBTQ+ rights for years (online), including trans rights, but I’ve recently become increasingly anxious at the thought of me being transphobic.

This likely stems from my questioning of my own gender, often times I feel that I am not quite male, maybe that I’m nonbinary or genderfluid. I mentioned this to my nonbinary friend, and they said “you don’t seem nonbinary”. This sent me spiraling, questioning my own gender and identity, and questioning if I was transphobic for believing that I was nonbinary (or possibly genderfluid, as at times I feel very comfortable being male, but at others I feel a lot more feminine).

At some point, I have to accept the fact that this is delusion, but I still really feel like I need guidance/assurance. I do not really know what to do about this.

(ANOTHER WORRY I HAVE is acting so paranoid and making it seem like I think trans people are going to cancel me and ruin my life if I say anything wrong, like a lot of transphobic people claim and act like. This is NOT AT ALL my intention, but I know I probably come off that way.)

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[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Thanks for sharing that, that helps me understand you a lot better!

I'm definitely not trying to tell you how you feel, that's for you to know for yourself, and you definitely know more about yourself that I do from just reading your comments.

However, that said,

It changes very often, like some days I feel like a man and some days I feel less like a man and some days I feel barely like a man.

sounds a lot to me like being genderflux - meaning your gender oscillates between one gender (male, in your case) and agender (not having a gender at all) or possibly some other nonbinary identity, depending on what you mean by 'not a man', without ever crossing onto the other side of the spectrum.

The fact that you prefer having a masculine body over a feminine body suggests to me that you're at least masculine of center, rather than transfeminine, but you could still be various forms of nonbinary that are masculine of center - agender, genderflux, demiboy, etc.

And it's also important to note that gender presentation is not the same as gender identity - you can want to express yourself in ways typically called 'feminine' without wanting to have a female body, and without being a woman - if you're not.

But all in all, these are just guesses, are any of my suggestions helpful in understanding your identity? Do any of those terms resonate with you?

[–] RadioactiveShark@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

Thank you so much, you have no idea what this comment means to me. You taught me many new words that I will now spend hours researching while I should be sleeping xDDD.

Thank you for your kindness and understanding :))))

Do you know how can I get rid of the feeling that I am being fake because I do not seem nonbinary?

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I've got to sleep too, unfortunately, but please remind me to come back to this in the morning :3

One thing maybe you could tell me is what you mean by you don't 'seem' nonbinary? Like, you don't present androgynous/fem enough? To me, what you've said about not feeling male all the time seems to indicate that you are nonbinary at least in some form - and you don't need to look a certain way to be a gender

I present entirely masculine, and have my whole life. The only experimenting I can do, really, is with the hair and maybe wearing lighter colors. I don't want any body in the real life to suspect that I may be transgender (this is not out of my own transphobia but their).

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