TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

While there are toxic elements of the fandom and weird sexists who take things way too seriously, Warhammer 40K is the dog’s bollocks. Fuck anyone who wants to cry about lore accurate bullshit, the whole point of the setting is you get to make your own lore for your army and nobody gets to tell you if it’s right or wrong, your army is yours to do with as you please. GW has even made posts and statements specifically telling the chuds that they are wrong and to fuck off and that they don’t want them playing their game or involving themselves in the conversation.

(STOP READING. This is me in post, the next bit is just me jumping off the rails about my custom chapter. I’d delete it, but it actually helped me flesh out some stuff, it’s the first time I’ve put any of it into writing and got carried away. It’s bad. You’ve been warned. Read it in the voice of the narrator from Baki.)

My chapter takes all who can prove themselves worthy of having the blood of Sanguinius coursing through their veins and are willing to bear the mantle of… The Exploding Suns (suns… suns… suns…) to join them on their epic and calculated journey through a time loop to stop reality from splitting into a thousand pieces by an unseen warp manifested entity (or is it something more… familiar ?)shuffling the variables at every beginning and every end. Chapter Master Astraeus Aqua Forta and his benevolent partner, a warp born AI on her own mission to find out where she came from, the only conscious entity to hold the memory and knowledge of surviving intact through every loop, The All-Mother, lead The Exploding Suns across time tainted by time over and over again. Falling out of the rage that is the warp onto the empty desert of Baal, walking alone for what would be to others a lifetime, standing for the first time upon the visage of his only known home for hundreds of years… as a stranger… as a threat? Telling a tale to Dante, after years of confinement, which he had already seen as visions from the warp (How? Why? Who?). Taking on the seemingly impossible task of finding and rebuilding the chapter, witnessing the cruelty of depriving what could be a normal life from those he already loves and knew dealry, knowing they would die alongside him... this time… Seeing himself as a child and remembering how he was thrown ruthlessly, by his own hand, back through the warp, theough time, to continue this fool’s mission, depriving himself of the honor of dying alongside his brothers (as a rank, it’s the equivalent of private for space marines, I’m not gonna rewrite the army structure, I’m keeping that bit intact so that they can function without notice of non codex compliance among the greater imperium, they can’t risk exposure). Confronting the startling revelations of memories robbed from him ( By whom?) during his time in the sarcophagus. Suffocating in guilt, and fighting his own desire to end his suffering and struggle, and the doom he has wrought upon all who he traps within his(?) blind and unending crusade, he dreams, and with all that defines him tries to snap the chains of fate that bind him. But at what cost? Could it even be undone? Existing in that moment, has he already made the choice of damning himself to endless duty? Is freedom worth the price of all that is reality… Hoping to find an end, or stopping one from coming for as long as they can, will the endless turns of deciphering and unraveling the seemingly unending threads of time and destiny weave a tapestry of hope, a future beyond this crushing, endless past, or are they forever to stand stalwart against what would be the last deluge of destruction the universe will ever witness? Are they merely souls damned to die again and again, trapped in a hell known by the name of… purpose?

While they are stuck in a loop experiencing endless time time and time again, all-mother fuckers ain’t got no time for any Emperor damned misogynists or incels. My army is made up of men, women, trans folks, non-binary folks, and whoever doesn’t die in the sarcophagus, really. They will even work with xenos, they’re not heritics, but their mission is bigger than the Imperium, and perhaps even The Emperor. No matter who or what you are, they live and die for you, forever. If anyone wants to fight about it they’ll just throw an exterminatus at the fuckers or have Dante tell them to mind their own fucking business and cut all their dicks off if that isn’t something they already do to themselves, 40K is weird like that.

Edit: This is to everyone. Genuinely and earnestly, I am SO sorry. But, also, any criticisms of my story outline would be very much appreciated. If you read all of this nonsense then you’re nothing short of a saint.

40K. Not even once. (Colorado40KProject.org)

Edit II: Electric Boogaloo: Also, there are other armies that are way more inclusive than space marines. Aeldar, Tau, Orkz in their own way, the sisters of battle are all ladies unless you’re fucking rad, custodes, bit regardless of what you play you can make it as inclusive as you want. The only people that are going to complain you can just laugh put of the room.

Done now, honest. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.