this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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Depressing medical stuff
Keeping it short.
Ol' girl had some teeth pulled a week ago, I said it was a bad idea. Only eating glucose really. Refuses soup, fuck all water, no exercise, cracks it at everything, down 4kg. It took months to to slow that weight loss, and then the same again to get it back up.
Everything I've tried to do over the last year has just evaporated in a week.
I have no idea how the ol' boy is expecting to do this japan trip they're planning in like 20 days' time.
That trip sounds like such a bad idea. How long has it been booked for? Is it sheer stubbornness or does he truly not see the state she's in? Does she want to go on the trip? Lots of questions, none of which you need to actually answer, btw! That's rough as.
It is a bad idea. Been booked for a year. I was hoping to use it as an excuse to get her in better shape but the punches keep coming. He sees her state and we've locked horns far too many times how to best go about it but I just have no say. She is very worried about the trip.
I honestly don't know what to do from here :(
Oof. I had one tooth pulled and while that pain was manageable it gave me the worst headache and made me hesitant to eat in case I would disturb the site and cause dry socket. Straws were forbidden.
NG tube is an option or even parenteral nutrition but I know it will be refused. I have a quick no temper stovetop custard recipe using real eggs but she doesn’t sound like a fan of sweets. And ol’ boy won’t cook it.
I don’t know if you can get through to him but I’m hoping she manages okay. I really am. I don’t envy the position you’re in, all the responsibilities but no say. If things go sideways it won’t be your fault.
Yea I'm pushing for NG or even just IV for hydration but I just can't move these decisions.
you've been really helpful with all this melba and can't thank you enough, sincerely.
No worries, I know how hard both nutrition and carer duties can be
Oh thats tough... Mouth pain is hard enough, let alone with her complexity around food already.
maybe he just isn't saying anything
trying to keep it positive for her ( and himself )
in fact, is she looking forward to it? That might be an incentive for her to behave better
I don't believe as a doctor he doesn't see what is happening
Yep that's exactly right. He is trying to stay positive and he knows what's happening so giving him that.
She's not looking forward to it. I was just hoping to get her more confident (w/ walking, eating etc.) but this is a big spanner and I'm out of things to do in that amount of time.
so many hugs
what is her favourite food? even cakes are good food, they have eggs and butter and flour , try cakes , not kidding
I used to make giant apple crumbles and huge fruit bread loaves ( made with eggs ) for a friends elderly parents, it was easy to eat, healthy and very appetising
Yea that's the problem. I keep on trying different things (soft diet / puree only) but it's always hit and miss.
I'm assuming you've tried steamed eggs? Sauce on top can be anything she likes. Even a sweet sauce. Congee was a lifesaver for me when I had most of my teeth pulled out a couple of years ago - didn't need chewing. Can be made sweet or savoury.
I’m not sure if she’ll try it but cheese soufflé is quite soft and isn’t too bad to make if you don’t fuss about getting the height. I made it in home ec when I was sixteen.
Basically it’s cheese sauce and yolks(?) folded into stiff beaten egg white and baked with the ramekins or bowl sitting in a pan of water. It ends up like a soft moist pudding.
Edit: That said you’ve already done more than your share of catering and effort also has to come from them