this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago (3 children)
[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

The ACTUAL meaning of negging is not 'teasing,' but:

  • say/do something to imply you're not attracted/interested in them
  • eithee lowers their self esteem til they're "at your level," or
  • it supposedly gives them a burning desire to be desired by you, to rise to that challenge

In this sense it can be seen as a toxic extension to the "playing hard to get" concept.

It was pushed by american media and by pickup artists/ later by manosphere influencers

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

"You have really pretty eyes for someone with hair like that"

"Wow, your workout routine seems really intense for something who looks like they barely eat"

"I love your makeup! I bet it took you hours to cover what's underneath"

Basically, negging is using backhanded compliments to make someone feel good while also trying to tear them down. You say something nice that makes them feel good, but then say something that makes them feel self-conscious about something else. Very effective narcissistic tactic if used properly which is why the manosphere promotes it. If someone with limited self confidence is met with negging, sometimes they tend to lean into the compliment and use that as a drip of self confidence that they may not get and lean into the person saying it, regardless of the negative addition to it.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 5 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Saying shitty things to people to make them feel bad about themselves so they will lower their standards enough to fuck you. The kind of thing only an incel could come up with.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not quite. Negging requires you to say something nice while saying something mean. Negging isn't just "You're too ugly to fuck". It's balancing compliments with negative connotations to build and break down someone at the same time.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Yeah It's shit like "I love your dress, it hides your belly so well"