this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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What dating apps are really optimizing. Hint: it isn’t love (theconversation.com)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Beep@lemmus.org to c/technology@lemmy.world
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In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, dating apps typically see a spike in new users and activity. More profiles are created, more messages sent, more swipes logged.

Dating platforms market themselves as modern technological solutions to loneliness, right at your fingertips. And yet, for many people, the day meant to celebrate romantic connection feels lonelier than ever.

This, rather than a personal failure or the reality of modern romance, is the outcome of how dating apps are designed and of the economic logic that governs them.

These digital tools aren’t simply interfaces that facilitate connection. The ease and expansiveness of online dating have commodified social bonds, eroded meaningful interactions and created a type of dating throw-away culture, encouraging a sense of disposability and distorting decision-making.

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[–] ElectricWaterfall@lemmy.zip 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I feel like it’s hard to craft a bunch of personal responses only to receive no response or a short conversation that dries up quickly afterwards. Talk about exhausting! Might as well start with the bare minimum and engage more if there’s interest back. Otherwise I can’t maintain the energy to keep it up.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 1 points 18 hours ago

Yeah, it can be hard, but many things worth doing are hard. If you start with the bare minimum, the other person's first impression of you is that you half-assed it. Would you be extra interested in someone who's too half assed to even read your profile?

Put in the hard work. If you don't have the energy, don't use the apps. Half-assing it is just going to make you unhappy.