My latest hypothesis is that in certain instances, “dead/death” referenced spiritually dead (eating from the tree of life, dead bury the dead), and the reason his teachings not being for those who didn’t understand the parables is because those people had hardened their hearts (empty cups), and hadn’t done the spiritual work (being spiritually alive) to understand.

Oh yeah, that was one of the things that got resolved to "hell" is not a place, but more of a state of being, or rather not being anymore. How atheists view death.

Well the "Jesus is not a vegan" is of course a bit of a caricature. More broadly, genesis talks about giving "mankind dominion over animals" for example. God drowns all the animals except two for mankinds sins? Seven if they're "holy"? Being kinda speciesist there bestie... Not to mention the hell did those animals that got drowned do?? But the thing I'm most hung up on atm is after Jesus death him appearing at the shore and telling his disciples to cast their nets on the right side, them murdering a christillion of fish and coming to shore to Jesus already having the fire to roast them lit. Got me going "Not my savior 😤" in only a half-joking way to be real.