Original comment: https://vger.to/lemmy.world/comment/22018742
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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This is just an old copypasta. Hardly worthy of BestOf.
Wait, there's old and there's classic.
Yeah but… our cultural identity is young and in need of more good humor. I don’t necessarily see this as an argument for owning an uzi for “home defense,” but who really knows… I’m certainly not going back to Spezneyland just to find out 😌
The source of the copypasta is 4chan/k/, and it was written as an argument for personal ownership of automatic firearms.
Wait, for personal ownership? It's always read to me more as an argument for gun control. Like, "the founding fathers obviously never intended for Joe Shmoe to have serious military hardware, not even in their day, so we should be banning automatic rifles and the like."
The Revolutionary War was fought with privately owned rifles, cannons, and warships. Every form of military hardware available at the time was privately owned by Americans. Gun laws of the time typically mandated a minimum ownership of a firearm and ammunition.
That type of hardware still would have been owned only by corporations and the absolute wealthiest people, and it certainly wasn't getting wheeled out for home defense.
Certainly, not everyone owned a cannon. Or a warship. But the only difficulty in obtaining them was coming up with the funds.
It is satirical. One would not keep their cannon upstairs in their house. It would be proudly displayed in the front yard.
And yet, there's not a single automatic in the story, while his oldy-timey weaponry shreds the invaders (the ruffians are probably ICE judging by recent events). A better argument for grapeshot, forsooth.
And panties, at a minimum. Maybe add striped thigh-highs for maximum intimidation
It’s a roughly 15 year old satirical piece that references common anti-gun tropes that would be familiar to an American firearm enthusiast.
That the 2A only protects period firearms, that intermediate caliber rifles are high powered, the inclusion of bayonet lugs in assault weapons bans, bans on modern large caliber firearms and cannons, claims that hollow point bullets are inhumane, that modern firearms are excessively dangerous, et cetera.
Word. Well I certainly wasn’t going to 4chan for anything… thank you for reminding me that there was in fact a worst shit hole 😝
It really is such a shame how influential 4chan is/was