this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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Ok.....hear me out. We all join ICE, but then we BARELY do our jobs. And we agree to do whatever they say. Then we don't do it. We clog up the system from the inside with insubordination. But we do it in a way that makes them think we're trying to follow orders, and are just really really stupid.
"Ok Johnson, shoot the brown guy!"
shoots 15 feet above the brown guy into a brick wall behind him
"YEAH!!! I DID IT!!!"
"NO YOU DIDN'T!!! HE'S GETTING AWAY!!!"
"DON'T YELL AT ME MISTER MAN!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??? I'M ICE!!!"
"We're all ICE.....and he got away!"
"Is that good?"
"NO THAT'S NOT GOOD!!!"
"Did he win the race?"
"What race???"
"Uhhhhh.......Formula 1?"
"What?"
"Vroom vroom!!!"
"What is wrong with you???"
"My father used to punish me severely."
We just gotta act like idiots who mean well in their racist system, but keep screwing up.
But here's the main thing.....we DON'T kill people. Even if they fire us in 2 weeks, we will have clogged up their little system, drained their budget, and made the whole thing a mess.