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My younger brother is screaming in pain... (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 1 day ago by Makan@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

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I would like to help him but I don't know what to do...

His screams echo through the house due to a lower back muscle spasm that he got recently, likely due to a herniated disc in his spine or something. He's never gone through this before, I think. He's almost 26, but our family has a history of back problems (and heart problems) for whatever reason. Don't know if that could mean something.

I am a lot older than him and have never had back trouble, EVER. But how can my younger brother have such immense pain in his mid-twenties? I thought back problems only grew more acute later on, such as in your 40s or 50s? I believe we will at least have the x-ray results soon.

I live in Virginia and am wondering if there is a better place nearby to take him than just the Inova hospital around around here. He is being taken right now to the hospital nearby.

His screams trigger flashbacks and traumatic thoughts and memories in my head (doesn't help that I have misophonia). So yeah, fun, fun, fun...

Anyway, let me know what you think because I could use some suggestions.

Just want to know how I can help and what I can do.

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[–] snek_boi@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I also messed up my back quite young. It was in my early twenties. It sucks.

The priority should be getting checked out. It’s likely at some point he’ll be doing physical therapy. The exercises by Williams and the ones by McKenzie have helped me greatly. Much later I started doing calisthenics, including Gold Medal Bodies.

As for you, there are some things that help people in general, levers that improve wellbeing. One of them is mindfulness. There are many ways of practicing it. You can do it with the Healthy Minds app.

Another one is defusion exercises. They can help with your triggers. You can find the exercises online. I tend to like ones from Steven C. Hayes.

There’s also acceptance exercises you could do, which can help with coming to terms with the current reality while being aware of who you want to be. I suggest the same source (Hayes).

Finally, you can do values exercises to know what you want out of this tough situation. Values clarification can make people more resilient.

As I always say, Hayes is not the only option. It’s just the one I like.

I wish the best for you. Let me know if you have questions :)

[–] Makan@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Curious.

Thanks for the comprehensive reply. Do you know any DBT therapies or techniques I can use as well?

[–] solrize@lemmy.ml 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Geez if he is in that much agony he needs immediate medical attention. Save therapy for later.

[–] snek_boi@lemmy.ml 1 points 21 hours ago

Thanks for the recommendation. I agree. And so does OP’s brother or his caretakers, because OP’s brother was being taken to the hospital when OP posted.

[–] snek_boi@lemmy.ml 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I’d respond saying that, as with anything, the test is in the pudding and the devil’s in the details.

I think DBT can help to the extent that it leads to variation, selection, and retention of behaviors, including mental behaviors. I really like that DBT is evidence-based. I also like that it has acceptance and mindfulness components to it.

What can you do if you try DBT and you don’t see it moving your life toward where you’d like to?

One approach is to change the way you do DBT. Maybe there’s DBT therapists who focus less on following DBT rigidly, and more on using it in a pragmatic way. Maybe they use as an underlying framework something like Process-Based Therapy.

As with many things in life, it’s a matter of testing until it clicks.

As to DBT techniques or procedures, I don’t know them. I only know the DBT principles.

[–] Makan@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 18 hours ago

I frankly haven't tried it, tbh