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Exposure therapy for shyness (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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My 5.5yo daughter is very shy, so I've been pushing her into hobbies to help managing her shyness. I've talked about how being shy is fine, but it's something to work on, otherwise she'll have a really hard time making friends. I'm shy and told her about that.

I took her to a gymnastics class (we do gymnastics together at open gym), but she refused to join the class. I said if she does one activity (even just a game at the end), I'll get her ice cream. We spent the time sitting on the side.

She didn't do it, so I figure no ice cream then. She's pretty mad. I'm not mad with her, but just of the opinion that we had a deal, and if she wants the reward, she needs to earn it.

Too harsh? Too soft? Alternatives?

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago

You don't cure shy. You can't.

Only thing you can do is offer support and give them the freedom to explore with the safety that good support can bring.

She's not going to have trouble making friends. She'll be selective about who she considers a friend. That's not a bad thing. We all have to surround ourselves with people that match us and/or balance us.

That balance is what you encourage. Finding her own path to friends she, she feels connected to and safe with. Once she finds them in her own way, in her own time, you provide the opportunities for them to spend time together so that those friendships grow and develop.

Being slow to warm up, being shy, it's not a bad thing. It's just one way of experiencing life.