this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2026
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My 5.5yo daughter is very shy, so I've been pushing her into hobbies to help managing her shyness. I've talked about how being shy is fine, but it's something to work on, otherwise she'll have a really hard time making friends. I'm shy and told her about that.

I took her to a gymnastics class (we do gymnastics together at open gym), but she refused to join the class. I said if she does one activity (even just a game at the end), I'll get her ice cream. We spent the time sitting on the side.

She didn't do it, so I figure no ice cream then. She's pretty mad. I'm not mad with her, but just of the opinion that we had a deal, and if she wants the reward, she needs to earn it.

Too harsh? Too soft? Alternatives?

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[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

I second this. Only thing I would add is to emphasize the importance of giving your child at least some agency in confronting their own internal issues. I have no desire to teach my children what to think; rather, my hope is to help them learn to think for themselves. I think that idea is related to the issue you're attempting to address.