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Exposure therapy for shyness (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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My 5.5yo daughter is very shy, so I've been pushing her into hobbies to help managing her shyness. I've talked about how being shy is fine, but it's something to work on, otherwise she'll have a really hard time making friends. I'm shy and told her about that.

I took her to a gymnastics class (we do gymnastics together at open gym), but she refused to join the class. I said if she does one activity (even just a game at the end), I'll get her ice cream. We spent the time sitting on the side.

She didn't do it, so I figure no ice cream then. She's pretty mad. I'm not mad with her, but just of the opinion that we had a deal, and if she wants the reward, she needs to earn it.

Too harsh? Too soft? Alternatives?

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[–] HisArmsOpen@crust.piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

May be a bit of a challenge for a 5-6yrs old child to successfully do this first time, or maybe even 2nd, 3rd, 4th time.
Is there a smaller first step that might be an more palatable first bite for them?

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah, gym class seems like a lot at one time. Hope does she handle school? You say she has friend in the neighborhood, so she has social connections. Can you set up activities with known and unknown people at the same time? Going to the playground is good short term interaction, so there is little “pressure to perform”.

I would also remember that being a bit shy is not a problem and most kids naturally grow out of it. Keep providing opportunities for growth and eventually it will happen.

Good luck!