this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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I wouldn't categorize showing a picture of yourself dressed up as "amoral manipulation". You're certainly free to hold that view.
I'm sorry you've had these difficult relationships in the past.
presenting a false image of who you are is manipulative.
I think people have a hard time grasping just how off "dressing up" feels for some people. Like I recognize that I look pretty good when I do, but the farthest I've went is a dress shirt+suit jacket and that already felt like absolutely so not me. Putting pictures like that up to, essentially, advertise myself would feel extremely dishonest.
I'm guessing it's similar for you.
It doesn't make me off, it's just not part of my lifestyle. I actually would like going to fancy restaurants and dressing up, but on rare occasional, not every week/day. And the 'dressiest' I get is business causal. I've never in my life been to a restaurant that required a jacket, for example. I only ever wore suits for weddings and funerals, as an adult and I haven't had one of those in 15 years.