this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2026
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In most altercations, the first to use violence is the likely winner. Unless you walk around with a knife in hand all the time, it is unlikely to make a difference. Even then, you must always be prepared because even holding a knife, you have blind spots to be exploited.
I am tall with broad shoulders for my height. I think of my size as being an easier target for a bullet, though in practice I know that difference is rather insignificant. I look at displays of strength and force as weakness and fear. Even a kid can pull a trigger.
I primarily fear groups of stupid people, and the intelligent. I am probably biased because I am too large and intimidating to be worth the effort to fight, and have little that anyone would want. No one can fight off several attackers at once. The human propensity for dogmatic stupidity and confirmation bias is horrendous. On the other hand, I fear the domination of the intelligent, because the human capacity for cleverness is beyond the scope of anyone's ability to counter.
In pretty much every situation, you are safer if you run. Instead of working on fighting back, having sure footing, agility, and confidence in your ability to run faster and further than any opponent is far more likely to save you. Your stride is much shorter than mine, but you are likely to be able to change directions faster than me and my momentum. Like in american football, I must increase the buffer distance before engagement when facing a smaller person in order to prevent them using my momentum against me. When I am all out in pursuit, it is the moment just before contact that is critical for awareness, confidence, and the agility to change directions quickly that will prevent me from catching you. It is also a mistake to assume I will tire or lack endurance to chase. You must have a stronger spirit than your opponent and the confidence that you can out agility them every time they try. There is no fairness in this type of altercation. I know that is scary. It is always better to turn to flight first in the fight or flight mechanism. Then come back with your fight when you control more variables.
Why would I run from you and increase the risk of you catching and grabbing me, when I can fight back by quickly pulling the knife out of my pocket and (since I'm sneakier, a smaller target and also have swordfighting skills due to fencing) just plunge my knife right into your belly up to the hilt (or even quickly slice your belly open to ensure you're incapacitated and represent no threat to me)?
Because I will grab your hand. You could hurt me in other unique ways due to my chronic injuries. At the same time, I have spent the last 12 years in severe and unrelenting pain. As a former cyclist racer, I already had an enormous propensity for pain. Now, I'm nearly impervious to it. Nothing you could do would stop me until I lose consciousness. I don't say that to be mean or a troll or anything. At your age, it is hard to fathom how perception of pain changes at double your age. Like in militaries, the vanguard goes last (older experienced people). We are more susceptible to injuries in some ways, but make up for it in experience and particularly in capacity for pain. Similarly in cycling racing at the amateur local levels, the masters races are often the fastest and most brutal. When you're older, you know your real limits far better than the voice in your head screaming for you to stop.
I feel like my spine has a long sword shoved through it top to bottom all the time. I hurt in places and ways no human should be aware of their existence. When you are young, you likely imagine stuff like this is impossible; that everything can be fixed or means death. Such is not the case. It is possible to suffer terribly in ways where nothing can be done. I actually appear weaker in my hobbling and caution, trying to avoid cycles of injury, but under that façade, I am still capable, and mask the underlying ability to handle any pain short of death. My margins are on that line all the time. Even since my broken neck and back, I have broken bones riding a bike for physical therapy, and I just rode home with them and while bleeding rather seriously just out of my stubbornness and desire to say I have done so. The swelling actually puts pressure on my spine in ways that make my constant pain go away. Stabbing me, might actually help make me much stronger.
Well, how will grabbing my hand help you, when my blade is plunged into your belly? How are you going to hold my hand exactly at the position I drove the knife into your stomach? And why you think I cannot just really quickly slice open your belly, even before you grab my hand? And with your gut sliced open its not long before you pass out as well. So, if we're talking about self-defense I can pretty realistically disembowel you actually.
Go hunting some time and try dressing an animal. Try and use a pocket knife or any other for that matter. You will quickly find the value of a filleting knife and that there is much to the technique. It is not at all like you imagine it to be, I promise it is much much harder than that and nothing like games or movies might have you imagine. It is more like cutting a tough steak. Some little knife is nothing more than superficial cutting at best. Even if you really hit an artery somewhere, you would be strangled twice over before that wound would lead to a loss of consciousness.
For me, as a former racing cyclist, you never want to be around my legs. My lower body is deceptively massive and stronger than you can imagine, especially at my size. All I have to do is bulldoze you with my weight and size. If you are expecting some kind of parried fighting you are wrong. I will put my weight and efforts into stopping and pinning your arm, but my objective is to physically dominate you by force and I do not care if you get a stab. In my crashes on the bike I lost one of the nerves in my chin for a quarter of my face where I am numb to pressure and temperature. I split my right hand between index and middle finger into my palm. I am covered in scars from road rash taking off large chunks of skin. I know pain on another level. If I am on top of you at all, you have no chance of overcoming the force of my legs. My thighs are likely around the size of your waist if you are a skinny 5'5". So yeah, good luck with former racing me. You would likely unintentionally push my head to my left. Even a mild blow there would likely cause me major trouble and maybe death. Likewise with punching at a my ribs that connect to my sternum. You could easily crush or collapse my vertebrae with little effort. The rest of me is a strong 42yo, but my mid to upper spine is something like 90.
Some people do not feel pain. I got that ability the hard way, but I have known two people that got it with genetics. They actually have trouble where they could bleed out before noticing it. Never assume anything when you are throwing out all morality to turn to violence. Your opponent is the smartest, most well armed, strongest and most agile person on the planet. To assume anything less is to wind up dead. Never pull a gun you are unwilling or unable to use, same with a knife. Make every threat real or you end up dead because luck is a killer that must never get called. Surprise is everything in fighting, so constrain every variable possible. If you are pulling a knife in defense, that means I am attacking. That means I have constrained the variables. That means I am prepared and you will never have the chance to draw your knife. I am not attacking you because, like everyone else, I am not motivated to harm you in any way. At your age, I had a 12 gage, a .243, and a .22 that helped me through that phase. Humans are not fully cognitively developed until the age of around 25. The logic skills and self awareness in this specific area are a major aspect of what is still growing and developing. Try to keep that anxiety in check as best as possible. It is natural to feel such anxiety. It is part of developing self awareness and logical scopes of vulnerability and hierarchy. We do not talk about this stage of development enough in US culture.